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balancedojo

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  • in reply to: The long break-up #69795
    balancedojo
    Participant

    Hi,

    Any more thoughts and comments to my dilemma?!

    in reply to: Guilt, guilt and guilt (post breakup) #69651
    balancedojo
    Participant

    Hi Tati,

    I have been there – believe me! (you can read about my “dilemma” in a thread called “The long break-up”).

    The most important thing I want to tell you:
    Your neediness was nothing that came out of a bad intention or an “evil” heart and you were a “slave” to your ego that was fed by fear and anger.
    Don’t blame yourself anymore for what has happened and leave the past in the past, as you can’t change it anymore.
    Forgive yourself for what you (think) you have done, as you weren’t able to do it any other way.

    By doing this you allow yourself to heal from the wounds and your fear will slowly subside – yes, it sadly takes time!
    Give your heart, your mind and your soul time to heal.

    You made a horrible experience and the pain seems to be unbearable.
    Push through that pain!!!

    The truth is, that it is really all about self esteem and loving yourself.
    Because nobody else than you can really take on the responsibility of loving you.

    I found lots of help to understand my real underlying problems in the following book, that I can only highly recommend!
    – Nathaniel Branden, Six pillars of self esteem

    And if you like it a little bit more spiritual here is another recommendation that taught me a lot about the relationship between fear and love
    – Paul Ferrini, The gospel according to Jesus

    You are not alone in this and I can only second what Stephen wrote.

    Lars

    in reply to: The long break-up #69571
    balancedojo
    Participant

    Dear Swiskit,

    Thank you very much for your opinion!

    The reason why she told me that she is angry with herself is that she even “gave in to our relationship”.
    (and having talked with friends about it (especially women) who know us as a couple – because if someone you love tells you those kind of things, you really start to believe in it and give it a second guess (well I did) – I was reassured that this it not right, as she was utterly and madly in love with me, telling her girlfriends how “magic” (there it was again) the relationship between us is)

    in reply to: The long break-up #69509
    balancedojo
    Participant

    Dear Vhanon,

    Thank you very much for your answer!

    Let me just ad this for a better understanding. I did excuse myself for the things that I did “wrong” three times!
    The moment we met the storage place (end of June), during the FaceTime call (mid of August) and during our meeting on Wednesday.

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)