“I was not emotionally involved in my last relationship, or in any of them in the past. I am too afraid to talk to anyone I fall for”
you probably think about the worst case scenario, and afraid of its consequences…..which is breaking up…

“so I just used to date and chat up guys I did not (really) like”.
you are technically lying to inner child saying that “all its okay, i already know this is not going anywhere so… it is fine”…but i am almost sure that you feel something.

Why do i know about this ? i have been on that road lol…. well i kinda make a deal with my inner child haha…TBH, everything is gonna be fine, its not like youre gonna die tmr…

P/s:
“I started uni, made a bunch of new friends, moved to a great city, and started my own company, traveled on my own, and I’ve been really happy and outgoing, being independent”
what are you ? human or super human ? 24 with a degree and your own company holy crap

Hi,

1st of all, i wish you have a great Christmas. 2ndly, i think u should do some volunteer works, get yourself involve in community work, i am sure you will feel better. i know its suck to be alone during festive season but at least you have a place to stay during a cold as hell season lol. I am alone during Chrismas season too, however, i know that there are people in Aleppo couldn’t even afford basic needs to live by, children has no food no place to live; and that thought make me feel i am blessed for what i have….
Also, Chrismas is only on for 2-3 days, time flying, and after that you can party with your friend on 28. Yayee. Moreover, freedom is like best thing you can have; so make a coffee/tea, sit down with a piece of paper and pen and write down what you wanted to do before but you couldn’t, because you were so busy ;)……in my opinion, time being alone is the time i normally look back what i have done, what i have learned and how i can improve myself next year, but it is just literally for me lol.
Also, you mentioned that your mom’s boyfriend is very nice, why not come and visit his family, talk to your mom, she will love it…..and chances you may meet some pretty looking guys hahaha…

And keep in mind that

“No such thing as a life that’s better than yours
No such thing, no such thing”

J Cole – Love yourz