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Barbara Usack

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  • #48375

    Barbara Usack
    Participant

    I have found that when I resist something it is for two reasons.
    1) It is unhealthy for me.
    2) It is out of my comfort zone and usually something that I *need* to be doing!

    It’s hard to push myself sometimes (or more often), but I have found that the effort is always worth it. No matter how long it takes me to get there…

    #48374

    Barbara Usack
    Participant

    Peace57, my journey was a long one. I suffered from depression my entire life (without knowing it) until about 10 years ago. We ALL deserve to feel good about ourselves. As long as we are doing the best we can with what we have at that particular moment, of course. Sometimes that is just survival. Only we know what we are capable of, and what we are afraid of. Sometimes we need others to help us find it.

    There is always room for improvement! One foot in front of the other. Celebrate the small steps it takes to get to where you want or need to be. Your last post is one of those steps!

    #48352

    Barbara Usack
    Participant

    You are so right, MadiePie. Complaining is negative energy, isn’t it?

    I just did an experiment. As I was reading your post I ‘heard’ the words in my head, so I said them out loud and got the same effect. Just saying “I have to” is a heavy phrase. It has negative energy attached to it, I guess. “I get to” comes out much lighter. Try saying each of them with a smile. For some reason, “I get to” is much easier to say when smiling! For me, anyway.

    And since I choose to smile as often as I can, I’m going to put on that smile right now and proclaim that I am getting off my computer because “I get to” go wash the dishes, then “I get to” go get a good night’s rest!

    Thank you for the reminder. I really needed that this evening!

    #48351

    Barbara Usack
    Participant

    Hmm… You’ve got me thinking. Although I haven’t been in the workforce proper for a long time (I’m trying to get back into it), there have been plenty of difficult people in my life!

    An office project team with strongly opposed opinions? First, I have found that the people with the ‘loudest bark’ are usually the most insecure. It is possible that the strongest opinions are held by people afraid of being wrong or of being seen as ‘less than’ when compared to their teammates. Diplomatically speaking, I think I would first try to see and mirror back the value in each and every opinion expressed, stroking each ego, if you will. Once everyone feels heard and valued, it may be easier to discuss pros and cons of each opinion as how it relates to the team or final project outcome. “I get to” be the voice of reason, the one who makes everyone feel heard and helps each one understand the value of the other opinions, not just their own. How lucky am I to be able to do that, and how lucky are they to have me helping them?!!

    Working toward eliminating negative feelings/jealousy about a coworker is easier because the only person involved would be me. There is no dealing with others, trying to change people’s minds or opinions, only figuring out why I feel negatively or jealous of someone. What is it about me (or the other person) that is causing me to feel that way? Once I know why I feel that way, I can work on looking at myself differently – often as others see me, not as I see myself. We can tend to be much harder on ourselves than we ever are on others! What is it about *me* that is causing me to feel less than or intimidated or jealous of another, and what can I do to change me, or the way that I view myself, to be the person I am proud of so there is no need to be jealous of anyone? “I get to” look more closely at myself, to learn something and to grow. “I get to” feel better about myself by understanding the cause of my feelings and having a chance to change them. And possibly I may even “get to” make a new friend out of the deal.

    I’m not sure if I have been of any help, but that is what I would do in the situations you have described as I understand them!

    #48349

    Barbara Usack
    Participant

    Bob, what an adventure! Oh, I’m sure it didn’t feel like that at the time, but as you wrote it seems to all be in the past. What a gift to find others who reach out to help us, isn’t it? I hope your life has become, well, a little more mundane!

    I apologize for the delay in responding. Somehow I missed all of these posts. Thank you so much for your response and sharing your story. I was just talking with my daughter today about this… No matter how bad things seem for us at any one given time, there are people much, much worse off than we. And somehow we always seem to get through it somehow. I’m glad you did too.

    #48348

    Barbara Usack
    Participant

    K, thank you so much for your response. I just noticed the replies today. I’m so sorry!

    I can certainly relate to the life-suckingness (poetic license there – I like it!) of our ‘first-world-problems’ as you said. The reframing has to be done on a regular basis, that’s for sure. And it’s a reminder to me, too!

    #48346

    Barbara Usack
    Participant

    Thank you so much! I’m glad you liked it. I find it to be so true. I’m also sorry that I didn’t see your reply until now!

    #40377

    Barbara Usack
    Participant

    Thank you for posting. I’m definitely going to check this out!

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)