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BDFR

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  • in reply to: Am I Crazy to Stay #53349
    BDFR
    Participant

    Hi Everyone

    I thought I would update on what happened.

    I did tell her I cant see her again, and walked away to save my sanity. I went to a very dark place, I didn’t look after myself, questioned my decision, drank to much. But I stuck to it and worked through everything, read many books and Tiny Buddha religiously.

    I started working on my spiritual growth last November with a group, study Tolle and have started A Course in Miracles with them.

    I struggled to find someone who I could accept, but rejected everyone for some reason, some pretty crazy.

    Anyways, I went back to basics, started to like me again, got control of my life, stopped drinking and enjoyed life again. Practiced meditation, started yoga. Still felt guilty, but much more grounded. I now love who I am and realize I am the one responsible for my happiness, and I cant save her or make her happy.

    Two weekends ago, I meet the most fantastic woman quit by chance, when I had given up finding a partner and stopped looking. We have had several dates, and enjoy each other tremendously.

    Thank you everyone for posting their comments and their situations.

    in reply to: Am I Crazy to Stay #41574
    BDFR
    Participant

    Hi Carlos

    I didn’t feel you were rude, no offense taken. I need to learn to use my voice, that lesson is being presented again, it has been in the past.

    My angels have indicated to me that people are moving into my life, not to worry about being alone, which is a major fear of mine. I love myself and I am quit happy with myself, I just want to share life with someone after being a single parent for over 12 years. My daughter is grown and getting on with her life, and I want to start a life. I am 58 and my younger brother passed away earlier this year, shook me up quit a bit and I don’t want to put off not enjoying life any more.

    Wow, that was good to let out

    I do appreciate your insight.

    Thanks

    BDFR

    in reply to: Am I Crazy to Stay #41540
    BDFR
    Participant

    Hi Carlos,

    Yikes, thanks for your insight, I think. Yes, I know my inner self is telling me to go, as is my daughter. I am an emotional wreck, my self esteem is gone. I feel like the Coasta Concordia, a wreck on the reef of life. I am getting a little better every day. I have not spoken, called or texted her for a week or so, I need to heal. I still have a couple things at her house which I need to pickup, so I have to face her one more time. I am avoiding getting them till I am stronger.

    I do need to set my boundaries, and I will work on that. I have always tried to please everyone, putting myself last. I now know I can and should come first and use my voice. I believe these are the lessons that are being presented to me to learn, and hopefully I do learn from this, otherwise, they will be presented again.

    in reply to: Am I Crazy to Stay #41525
    BDFR
    Participant

    Hi, thank you all for your replies and guidance.
    I am still torn, as I feel I should help my fellow traveller through life, both good and bad times. We did share good times, so why not help. Maybe as just a friend, though that would be difficult having been intimate with her
    I did read the co dependency article, thank you, I will read again several times. I think you hit me dead center.

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