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Phyllis

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • #140341

    Phyllis
    Participant

    By relationship, I meant friendship!

    #140339

    Phyllis
    Participant

    I hear you on that. To be fair, we both could have handled things better during our friendship. I wasn't always the most honest or rational. There was the very beginning of our friendship when people would often point out our flirty behavior and I would say we were just friends. That was something he brought up, saying he didn't think I had feelings for him because of that and I never said how I felt and idk if me restraint felt like rejection.

    When he started hooking up and dating, it was halfway through our friendship. I felt he was still healing from a previous relationship of several years and I didn't want to be involved or hooked up with. This was hard because I cared so deeply about him already, so I traveled and created physical distance, but he would call and text and when I got home, we were inseparable until that drunken incident.

    He distanced himself from me and I asked him to talk to me about it and he told me he wanted friendship and didn't know how to be so close to someone without having feelings, but then said he wasn't romantically or sexually attracted to me and we were platonic. I simply agreed to avoid any more awkwardness but we still didn't talk for a bit and when we did talk, we were always up and down until I finally just cut him off.

    It's very complicated. I have taken a lot of time to myself and I am still holding onto that freedom and loved ones. I don't know if anything will ever heal this, but I just wanted to know I really tried to salvage the future relationship. Maybe I'll just wait it out and see what time does, but I'm not “waiting” for him or anything, rest assured.

    #140315

    Phyllis
    Participant

    I can definitely refrain from any physical interaction. Our drunkenness was one time and wasn't sex, just sexual. They weren't involved with anyone at the time.

    I appreciate your feedback!!

    #140081

    Phyllis
    Participant

    I meant letting someone I love go in a negative way. It's something I've always done, just cut people off and never look back but it's left me feeling regret for having done so and struggling with forgiveness for others.

    I was shocked by the admission of love because:

    1. They told me they were not attracted to me romantically or sexually. So they were going back on what they said previously.

    2. They're in a very public, seemingly monogamous relationship that's been going on for months

    3. I felt that they loved me as a friend, but not as a romantic interest because of their involvement with other women, their denial of how they felt, and because they are with someone they claim to love

    I honestly just want us to be friends once we individually grow up a bit more. Distance has happened beforehand and circumstances and mutual friends continually bring us back in contact again and at the very least I don't want awkward tension.

    Is that unreasonable? I can't always think straight when I'm emotional, but I feel that ending a relationship with an argument is not good for anyone, even though it happens all the time…but idk.

    #140059

    Phyllis
    Participant

    More so closure. I also have a hard time letting love end negatively.

    #140049

    Phyllis
    Participant

    Also, I'm moving away, not him.

    #140047

    Phyllis
    Participant

    Sorry, they is entirely singular. One person. Their partner has no interest in me and I don't believe their partner is poly

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)