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beinghuman1

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    beinghuman1
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    I’m in a very similar situation to everyone on this thread, and I wanted to share my story to see if there’s any advice, as compared to most situations, it has only been 8 months into my relationship. My boyfriend is Indian-American, and I am Malaysian-American, and we both live in the US. Although he and his family were originally from India, both him and his parents have been living in the US for over 14 years, and we currently live in a separate state from his parents. We do not live together, but we have stayed at each other’s places quite often.

    He has been very open about the conversations he’s been having with his parents about our relationship, and they’re currently talking about this every day or every other day. He has told them nothing but positive things and that he loves me, but they have high reservations since I am not Indian. A few months ago, they had suggested that they keep an open profile of him while dating me, and he had shut that down completely, however he and I are still under the suspicion that his parents are still searching for him nonetheless. There was a period of time recently where I thought things were looking up for the better – he had sent a photo of my cooking to them, and they were impressed. I had also briefly met his mother through Skype. However, the other day, my boyfriend had a long conversation with them about me as a prospect of marriage, and they were completely against it, saying that I was not a right fit. He also had said that his mother had been physically ill this entire week as a result of worrying so much about us.

    I know for a fact that they’re not bad parents, that they’re very caring of him and love him greatly. They want what’s best for their son and their family. He in return loves his parents deeply and he hardly creates conflict with them. We both love each other deeply, we have great communication, and we’re practically each other’s best friends. The thought of losing him hurts, as the connection I have with him is stronger than with any of my exes. Had I not been privy to his family situation, I would have been convinced he’s the one. His transparency about the situation is very helpful since I’m not running blind into love, but I don’t know if I need to prepare for separation or continue to try and fight with him for our love. I don’t know if at the end of the day, he’ll want to fight to keep me, or if his parents will try to shut us down before it reaches a year. He has cried to me, wishing that this was easier, that his happiness was their top priority. I can sympathize only a little, as my own parents are strict in the more East-Asian style way, but beyond this, I feel helpless in what the right thing to do is. Especially with the state of the world, being alone is the scariest thing in the world.

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