Thank you guys so much for taking time to reply to me – it’s so nice that you’d take time out of your day to do that!

Firstly, as for the photos, I took a screenshot of one and sent it to her and told her she’d better tell her husband or I would.  I saw logs of video calls early hours of the morning, which is when they would call each other and watch each other …well, you know.  This happened three times, all whilst I was sleeping in the next room with our 14 month old and pregnant.  Mostly I’m more broken about the emotional bond they had.  They talked often, texted almost everyday and discussed how unhappy they each were in their marriage. The feeling of betrayal and grief is overwhelming.

I did actually send her a screenshot of a text from my husband saying he was totally turned off by her because she didn’t keep herself, erm, clean and neat down there and it was gross – I think that has killed off any feelings she has for him at least!  Yes, I know it’s not a nice thing to do, but I don’t regret it.

I talked to my husband for the first time tonight in almost three months since I found out.  He is desperate to get the marriage back on track and says he has no feelings or had no feelings for this girl but he caught up in attention that he wasn’t getting from me.  We have had a very rocky marriage.  We married two years ago today, I got pregnant on my wedding night, we bought a house that needed a lot of work, I’m a lawyer in a stressful job, he just changed jobs – all of this in the space of a year.  We argued non stop, I took responsibility for the baby whilst working and being the main provider (I bought and paid for our house).  I just feel like I’ve given him and sacrificed so much and got nothing back.  And then he cheats and asks me for another baby when he had this going on with another woman!

The ball is now in my court as to whether I divorce or not.  If I do, I’m a single momma of two babies (I can get some social security but pretty much nothing from him – I’m a lawyer and know how the system works here and he doesn’t earn enough to support us.  I’d receive barely enough each month to cover the mortgage).  If I don’t and I stayed with him I’d feel stuck with someone that doesn’t love me and makes me feel so insecure, and truthfully, someone I have little respect for anymore.

Just over two years ago I was working in Cambridge University with a great salary, lots of friends around and happy – its funny how one decision can completely change your life.  All I know is I now have two beautiful children and I have to do my best for them.

Ella x