Thank you all for your advice. In the past couple of days I’ve come to realize just how much I am still allowing this manipulative relationship to rule my life. Coming to this realization has been slow. When I was a teenager I thought everything really was my fault and I was always angry towards my sister. Coming into my college years I started to empathize and feel sorry for her, allowing her to treat me the way she does but taking it all far less personally. This was much easier due to the fact that she was attending university in another state. Now that everything has come full circle and we are living together again, I’ve been struggling with constantly empathizing and not wanting to hurt HER feelings(walking around on egg shells). It’s tough, and I’m working on not allowing her to make me feel responsible for her emotions.

I have a specific situation to deal with on my hands now. Yesterday sister suddenly says ” Hey I just want to let you know that if you want to go out with just your friends on your birthday, I won’t be upset.” She said this in a very very calm way. I told her I hadn’t even planned my birthday yet(it’s in a month), so I didn’t know what I would be doing. She just kept repeating that it really was okay with her if I went with just my friends, and how she honestly wouldn’t be upset if I didn’t want her to go. Truth be told, no I don’t want her to go, and I honestly don’t know why she would want to go. The problem comes from how she then started showing me the outfits that she was thinking of wearing “if” she gets invited to go, and she was trying to help me pick out my outfit. It was just strange. My mom, who had heard what she said pulled me aside and told me that she thought my sister had said that because her feelings really would be hurt if I didn’t invite her, and my mom asked me if I would invite her. I told her I didn’t know.

The whole ordeal is strange and I don’t know what I should do.