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  • #372686
    AA
    Participant

    Yes , somewhat distressing but like you said without distress sometimes peace can not be found. But overall, everything you have said until now has made complete sense. One thing I would say though is that even if people did find out, (other than the people I have told), I don’t think would feel like a fraud because I know deep down it was a mistake (a unpleasant one) , yet never the less a mistake. And at the time, I was a stupid kid. But I have full confidence that my friend will never tell anyone (btw we do not have mutual friends) but we have been friends for quite some time now.

    thank you , I appreciate you taking the time to help me out immensely.

    #372643
    AA
    Participant

    in regards to being a good man , it’s more or less the same. Being responsible and caring towards family, towards friends, focusing on your goals and achieving them. To basically be disciplined and patient in a life that can be testing at times.

    Thank you.

    #372642
    AA
    Participant

    <p style=”text-align: left;”>Hi again Anita,</p>
    yes, that’s not a problem. I was taught to always respect people, help out anyone if I saw that I had the ability to do so, to always look after and help out my family etc. From a religious perspective it was more so to be a kind person, to be disciplined in avoiding certain things, to always look at the positive side of life and to never be hopeless as any situation can be overcome. For me, the reason I said I feel like I am a good human being and a good man is because I have helped people in the past that have needed it (I’m not looking for any credit for this) , I always advise my friends and uplift others when they need me to do so. I’ve learnt to be more forgiving of others as no one is perfect etc. However I do understand no matter who we are we will and can always appear to be the opposite to some people.

    Thank you.

    #372620
    AA
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I have done that. Thank you for your time.

    AA

    #372611
    AA
    Participant

    Anita,

    Sorry i forgot to answer your other question,

    but yes you are right so far.

    #372610
    AA
    Participant

    Hi again Anita,

    Yes I wouldn’t mind answering , thanks for your time. What exactly would you like to know about my life before that age?

    #372578
    AA
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    So basically I have similar issues as to what most people on this forum are dealing with. Let me just point out I suffer with OCD intrusive thoughts and have been since I was 12. At around that same age is when I did something I wholeheartedly regret and feel ashamed of. It often did pop up in my head,  but I was able to distract myself with other things as I was busy with work etc. During the last lockdown in March 2020, I was dealing with so much mentally and it was really getting me down so I decided to talk to a friend who was understanding and supportive. I also spoke to my parents and they have both said mistakes happen at that age and that I should try my best to move on and not get down on myself. (We did discuss it further though). I feel like the need to talk was more so due to my OCD (confession OCD) as well. Since I’m well respected by peers and both my parents, it made me feel like I was a fraud. To be fairly honest, in the moment I was talking to my friend I felt really low and was not thinking about whether or not I should discuss it with anyone. I couldn’t find a therapist as quickly as I’d hoped and I just had to let it out somehow. Like I said I also suffer with OCD intrusive thoughts and I feel like that played a part. Now my issue is, I feel because of what I’ve confessed, that the closest people in my life will see me differently. (They do not act differently towards me at all). I’m a hardworking guy, I’m still young and love my family and looking forward to creating a good future for myself as well as them. I pray a lot and ask god for forgiveness all the time. It’s just sometimes I can’t function when I’m studying or when I’m just going about my life especially now that we’re in another lockdown, I just keep thinking my parents might see me differently or that my friend might tell someone (He has told me without me asking, that he will never talk to anyone about it) and it just haunts me to the point I can’t eat or sometimes sleep. I know it’s a lot to do with my OCD , I feel like I shouldn’t have told anyone and that would have been easier since I’ve not been vocal about it for a very long time (I’m 25). At the same time I did get a huge sense of relief back then and I still have that sense of relief so if it ever comes back in the future I’ve kinda already faced it (if that makes sense). Also my friend is a trustworthy person I’ve known for a long time. I just can’t seem on some days to get these thoughts out of my head. Can you suggest anything please? I just want to have peace of mind and focus on doing what I need to do in everyday life.
    Thank you.

    #368904
    AA
    Participant

    Hi Anita, is there any way I can contact you privately? Maybe an email? I have a question I really want to ask but want to do it privately.
    thank you.

    #368903
    AA
    Participant

    Hi Anita, is there any way I can message you privately? Maybe an email? I really need to ask something but I would prefer if i could do it privately. Thank you.

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)