Hey delicatedaydream,

I feel your pain. I am going through this and its been a struggle. There are people here to help and support. Feel free to ask us.

Anita,

I am not sure where to start.

Yes, Anita. Please tell me how do I challenge these two thoughts.

It’s been a very emotional day, woke up with tears and going back to bed with tears. There’s so much grief and sadness.

Yes Anita,

Because she still continues to exist in my life, its just keep triggering. Some days are bad, like today. I am tired with emotions, tired to be this way.

I do go back and re read articles or previous posts, listen to something soothing. We also often forget what thinking clear was like, when we are feeling pain, hurt and other gazillion emotions.

How are you going with your healing?

Yep, it does make sense to me. In my case, she was the one who changed. I wanted many times (like today) to act out on my anger and be nasty to her but I walked away every single time.

There are two things to look at.

People change. Same person who loves and can change into a hating individual with no compassion. I remember the night when she broke up with me, all of sudden, in shock, I was crying and desperately asking her to not throw away this. She was standing with hands in her pockets, so cold, no compassion towards with me. Its the same girl who couldn’t stop talking about me with her friends and family, about how much we fit together, about how much she loves me and want to spend her whole life. I still struggle to believe it. But it is true.

Second thing, when we act out with our anger towards someone who hurt or betrayed us, we make things worse. Hatred never solves with hatred. I decided to not go that route. I am guessing that’s what happens in your life.

I am not good today, Cath. I am having thoughts of confronting her and asking her How can she changed into a heartless person? Sometimes I feel like I want to smash her car or do something really bad. I regret the day I met her. I am angry, really angry !

I read that article before 🙂

Yep, I feel sometimes shock that how could someone change so fast. I guess there are no clear answers and we all have to walk through our journey. I have decided to stay alone for some time. But then I am worried as well that when I will see her with someone else, that is going to be painful.