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June 4, 2013 at 7:33 pm #36469BrightyoungthingParticipant
Sweetheart – I have been there! I understand how that “first love” hits you like a ton of bricks. Believe me when I say that 16 years ago I could have written the same thing you did. Please know that it gets better. I am 34 now and there are many things I’ve personally found to be true… I can share them with you because I had a very similar situation to yours as a teen and have learned a lot from it. Please listen dear heart!
1) Kudos to relocating and going to college! That’s amazing 🙂 You are doing number one perfectly – LIVING YOUR LIFE. This is the best way to shift focus off of an object of affection.
2) Find your sense of self-worth and self-acceptance. You are worth a man who returns your affections. You are worth forgiving yourself for having such strong feelings for someone who didn’t. We’re human! I beat myself up more times than I could count over “loving” my first love. I was not his first love – and it was evident because he, like your object of affection – always chose other women over me. Well- you know what? Shit happens. Unrequited love happens. Forgive yourself darling. 🙂
3) Know who to confide in regarding your feelings for the object of your affection. I say this because I exhausted everyone around me talking about this guy – to the point where my sister exploded on me one day just at the mention of his name. Hey – my sister is passionate and loves me – she was just frustrated at how stuck I was. So, having one really patient and understanding friend to talk to or even a counselor may prove helpful. Again – you’re human and working this thing out little by little and deserve someone understanding in your corner!
4) KNOW THAT THIS TOO SHALL PASS. The more you live learn love – the better all things will be – including this situation.
You have so much to look forward to and I wouldn’t be surprised if one day you woke up and were totally over this guy. Until then – be kinder to yourself and allow the feelings to run their course.
I hope this helps! MUAH!