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brownsky

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • in reply to: I screwed up. Help me understand #80331
    brownsky
    Participant

    i have reached out to her multiple times through text to just try and have friendly talk. i always try to have something fun to talk about so that she doesnt think im just saying the normal i miss you and such. sometimes she is talkative for a little bit. and sometimes she doesnt respond. i dont really know how to get to a point where i can actually make progress. we are still friends on facebook and instagram and i know she has seen posts of mine. the other day i foundout that my grandma has cancer and made a post about it. she later text me out of the blue showing some support about it. she mentioned that her grandma has died from cancer and we talked a short little bit and then out of the blue she stopped responding. i dont really know what more i can do to show her that ive been working on myself and being a better person. im guessing i just have to give her space for more than a couple weeks. another thing is that while we were together i had gotten her some things for her future birthday and now her birthday is next month. do i still try and give those things to her? sorry for all these questions. just seems like you give good feedback to all these feelings and thoughts ive been having. thanks

    in reply to: I screwed up. Help me understand #80320
    brownsky
    Participant

    first off, i need to be more open with my feelings. at the beginning i was very open with her and it slowly closed off. i dont want to leave her in the dark like that again leaving her wondering whats going on. i held onto things and didnt voice them til it was too late. i stepping back, i feel like me and her did deserve eachother, even though i didnt feel it at that time. i want to show her that i want to be with her and spend time with her and show her how important she is. i realized something big in this relationship. i had been used to being rejected so often that part of me felt like at some point she was going to reject me. that feeling led me to sabotage things. something that i hadnt done before and didnt even notice. now i feel like i understand what took place more and understand where it came from and why. understanding it, i feel that i would be able to handle it better. problem is, i dont know how to even get a chance to show that it could be different to her. i went through 5 years of a bad marriage hoping to one day be with someone that had all the qualities that this girl had only to screw it up when i finally found that person. thats what hurts most.

    in reply to: I screwed up. Help me understand #80309
    brownsky
    Participant

    i forgot to mention that she has been through a lot too. she was adopted and struggled with that growing up. she also had a very emotionally abusive and bad ex husband. he stole from her and spent all their money on drugs and things like that. im sure thats playing part into why she left me quickly.

    in reply to: I screwed up. Help me understand #80307
    brownsky
    Participant

    i follow a lot of what you said anita. but i also dont follow some. i feel like i have taken steps in understanding how i acted and how i treated the new girlfriend. i feel that i am trying to better myself. ive just found myself lost as to why she then gave up as fast as she did. i thought she loved me and it hurt to see her go so fast. i still love her because i hadnt felt love like that ever. now my daily struggle is trying to move on but my body doesnt seem to let me. everything around me reminds me of her. i guess i just really want to know if she feels anything for me anymore. i would wait for her ie work on myself in order to better us. i just dont know if she sees any possibility of us in the future. youre right that rejection issues are what ruined it. she was so good to me. her son was good to me. her family was good to me. it was all so perfect and what i had always invisioned of love and finding that special someone. it kills me now knowing what i always dreamed of, i myself ruined.

    in reply to: I screwed up. Help me understand #80301
    brownsky
    Participant

    Ya that’s the hard part, moving on. I’ve struggled cuz we both continuously expressed how much we loved each other and then things ended so fast.

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