Forum Replies Created
-
Hi Anita,
No, I’ve always been alone when I think about it. Yet I am here, standing, breathing and alive. When I was younger, I was in a new country, different culture and I was very anxious to the point I wouldn’t talk to anyone and just sit by myself. I was so engrossed by the fear of being alone, I wouldn’t go to the canteen to eat – I didn’t want everyone to look at me. This has left me to resort to words, books and distracting myself with academia. I like knowledge.
But my later childhood days, from what I can tell from pictures, was also one of my happiest…maybe because at this age you’re just yourself and you realise that you don’t care about what anyone thinks? As you grow up, you start to realise more about the world and things go from simple to very complicated. I also happened to experience as a teenager when social media was just something unheard of or not used much, to how it is today, and so it makes me kind of sad, how we can just go from a civilised generation to a much more materialistic generation.
To tell you the truth, I just want that one person. An anchor. One that can keep me sane, that can understand the way I am and think nothing of it when I make a tiny blunder or do something really stupid. One that loves me for me. I have yet to find this person and I honestly don’t know if I will…
Hi Anita,
I would gladly. When I was maybe 3 or 4, I was separated from my mum because she had to travel abroad and I stayed with distant relatives. I was passed on from 1 relative to another. Honestly, I remember being a quiet kid which I accepted then, but from when I was separated from my family, not just my mum – my brothers, siblings etc. – I felt very alienated. I only mentioned being away from my mum at first, because your parents are apparently, the people who shape your life, their morals and views are passed onto you. In this period, I was scared and alone. I then moved again when I was 6 to a different country and I remember feeling left out. I made friends and I think I was okay, until I had an embarrassing incident which marked the rest of my school life (at about grade 4-5) which I was bullied for to the start of high school… perhaps this is why I’m very insecure. During this period, I also didn’t have a father and my step-dad wasn’t around much. I relied on my relationship with my mother. I felt different to other kids who had nuclear families.
I’m sorry if I come across as a sob story, I just wanted to tell you my story and to hear your thoughts and from your experience what I can do to regain my self-confidence and to not just CARE?
Hi Anita, they’re a he.
What I mean when I say I never had a father figure. I mean it. My birth father died and my step father wasn’t around for most of my life. I didn’t know how to become a man like other boys did from their fathers and so I think this has factored in my low self-confidence.
I’m not like other boys my age. I like to show and express my feelings and this has often left me anxious when I’m making friends with boys who are not like me I.e. they are more relaxed, like to joke about obscene things and other “manly-man” behaviours or activities. But I’m not fickle enough to let a difference in personality, their outward self affect how I see their true self. I would like to think people aren’t black and white. Even so, this has left me feeling worthless and very insecure and undeserving of friendships around people who I think are better than me.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 