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JH

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  • in reply to: Confused about life path #167956
    JH
    Participant

    anita: Yes, that may have a part in what’s going on, but it isn’t the whole story. I am genuinely having the desire to live my 20s by being active also – out of logic that each decade is a special time, not necessarily because I’m scared to get old.

    orf: YES! Great advice and overall response. Thanks for your input so much.

    in reply to: Confused about life path #167776
    JH
    Participant

    I didn’t because it didn’t feel right at the time to attend. I don’t regret it because it wasn’t right while it was happening… the difference now being I’m pretty sure it DOES feel right.

    20s kind of life meaning having a more spontaneous, less “tied down” and responsible everyday life. Spending time with more people my age (roommates, etc.) while being able to explore my youthful sexuality and romance. Being able to decide for myself what I want everyday.
    I’m such a relationship type of person, and yet I know I have so many years later on to cherish that. It’s just now I am very confused – knowing if I don’t take this chance I will never get my 20s back, while also feeling very comfortable in the situation I’m in (warm weather, working for AirBNB, etc.).

    in reply to: Seeking healing and to finally move on #124729
    JH
    Participant

    Dear anita:

    I understand what you’re saying. Think of it like, it was totally in the past and a “one time only” sort of thing. I really, really wanted the relationship to work and knew I’d survive and he wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt me in any way. The way I see it is sometimes if we compromise ourselves too much it just won’t work – he didn’t want to compromise himself in that way. It was up to me to say goodbye or not, which I’m so glad you agree – it was my responsibility at that time! Yes, I’m not concerned with his faithfulness now or anything. It’s not even a minute possibility, he’s always been completely honest and trustworthy (almost sometimes too honest, ha!). It’s almost a conditioning though, reliving past hurt over and over from inside and not to do with anything he’s doing today. When I see a handsome man with him, scared and powerless when he happens to look at them … those feelings from the past will come up again. Just want to overcome those feelings NOWADAYS! You know? I’ve found myself in negative thought cycles too, which I’m really working on. I’ll go, “Remember when that happened?!” And I’ll just get swept up in it. AH! 🙂

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 11 months ago by JH.
    in reply to: Seeking healing and to finally move on #124719
    JH
    Participant

    Correct anita. It’s like, is it fair to be like – honey, I know this was awhile ago… I’m just wishing for something like, “I’m so sorry of how difficult that time was for you. Let me know how I can help, I’ll do my best.” It may be his own ego that’s protecting him from not feeling like it has anything to do with his responsibility towards me, it’s something I need to work out on my own since he’s explained himself along the way…?

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