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Carol

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  • #346614
    Carol
    Participant

    Thanks so much Anita, your messages have given me lots to think about. I’m really greatful.

    Sending best wishes to you and yours 🙂

    #346586
    Carol
    Participant

    You’re completely right. I think I find those kind of questions hard to navigate. My logic is, we’re talking about the future, children, wanting the same things, we’ve been seeing eachother 6 months, this is going well. Asking if he wants these things with me seems too early at 6 months, possibly too ‘needy’. At this point I don’t know if I want it with him but I do ‘feel’ it’s going well. Yet it wasn’t!

    i think the guessing and waiting game is a really good way to explain my experience. This seems to breed, over thinking and analysing! Which stem from this fear I have of getting hurt.

    lockdown is a bit tough, it’s me and my daughter, she’s 11 and amazing, but goodness I am missing adult conversation and day to day distractions

     

     

     

     
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    #346580
    Carol
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    thank you for taking the time to reply, I’ve found that really helpful.

    I’m sure my previous relationships are impacting my current thinking.

    My last ‘real’ relationship was 4 years ago, we got engaged, I later found out he’d used me for a place to live and had being having an affair. It took me along time to recover from.

    Since then I’ve dated people. There was the guy I thought things were working with, we spoke for hours on the phone, built a connection, spoke about hopes dreams, kids, marriage and everything inbetween.  6 months later I casually mentioned dating exclusively. I’d got it all wrong. He enjoyed talking to me but didn’t see that future with me.

    another guy, 6 months of dating I mentioned been exclusive with. He thought I was asking too much after just 6 months. I walked away. Not really liking the thought of him dating and sleeping with other people at this point.

    I guess when I say wasting, I see it like wasting my energy, building this expectation that something might come of this, then realising I’ve read it all wrong (again) and feeling hurt (again).

    I don’t think I’m very good at this am I

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)