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    Thanks so much Anita, your messages have given me lots to think about. I’m really greatful.

    Sending best wishes to you and yours 🙂


    You’re completely right. I think I find those kind of questions hard to navigate. My logic is, we’re talking about the future, children, wanting the same things, we’ve been seeing eachother 6 months, this is going well. Asking if he wants these things with me seems too early at 6 months, possibly too ‘needy’. At this point I don’t know if I want it with him but I do ‘feel’ it’s going well. Yet it wasn’t!

    i think the guessing and waiting game is a really good way to explain my experience. This seems to breed, over thinking and analysing! Which stem from this fear I have of getting hurt.

    lockdown is a bit tough, it’s me and my daughter, she’s 11 and amazing, but goodness I am missing adult conversation and day to day distractions




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    Hi Anita,

    thank you for taking the time to reply, I’ve found that really helpful.

    I’m sure my previous relationships are impacting my current thinking.

    My last ‘real’ relationship was 4 years ago, we got engaged, I later found out he’d used me for a place to live and had being having an affair. It took me along time to recover from.

    Since then I’ve dated people. There was the guy I thought things were working with, we spoke for hours on the phone, built a connection, spoke about hopes dreams, kids, marriage and everything inbetween.  6 months later I casually mentioned dating exclusively. I’d got it all wrong. He enjoyed talking to me but didn’t see that future with me.

    another guy, 6 months of dating I mentioned been exclusive with. He thought I was asking too much after just 6 months. I walked away. Not really liking the thought of him dating and sleeping with other people at this point.

    I guess when I say wasting, I see it like wasting my energy, building this expectation that something might come of this, then realising I’ve read it all wrong (again) and feeling hurt (again).

    I don’t think I’m very good at this am I

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