Anita,

I gave more thought to your previous question of if there were any changes in my family dynamic and I believe that is around the age that I began to stop being as close to my dad. He kind of took a backseat in raising me which led to me getting much closer to my mom. As I got older, we drifted and mostly argue when we do interact. After moving out for college, our relationship got a little better since we do not have to interact everyday.

This also seems so small now but at that age I had a friend who I was really close to. Her cousin started attending our school and the three of us would play together. I remember feeling like I had to compete with her cousin for her friendship and feeling jealous. Obviously, my friend ‘chose’ her cousin as they are family but as a child this was hard for me to understand I think. This is the first time I remember feeling ‘inadequate’. I have also always struggled with being incredibly shy so feelings of being less-than have always floated in my mind during social interactions.

Being an only child was lonely at times but now that I’ve grown up a bit, I actually appreciate being an only child. I am very close to my mom and I don’t think we would be as close if I had siblings. However, I do think there is some pressure to be successful and I am my parents only child. I often worry about whats going to happen to my parents in their old age and if I will be able to support them financially in their old age. I feel like if I fail, everything they have done for me will be for nothing. I think this is a common feeling for many people but as an only child, I can’t depend on anyone else to take care of them and they cant depend on anyone else to be successful.

cass

kh

Yes, I have always struggled with feeling less than other people. In friendships, I also feel insecure that they will choose someone else over me. I have worked on it over the years but I still struggle with these thoughts. I feel like I almost wait for someone I’m interested in to get bored or lose interest and move onto someone better. Its hard to not feel this way when I literally just got left for someone else.

Anita,

Thank you for responding! Yes, I believe she lives closer to him than I did and that could definitely be the reason why he was willing to move so fast with her. It just hurts that he was never willing to do that with me and it makes me wonder what is wrong with me. He once told me that he really likes me and doesn’t want to rush anything and mess it all up but then he goes on to start officially dating someone new within less than two months. I am almost certain that they began talking either before him and I ended or immediately after we ended. It makes me feel like he never really had strong feelings for me like he portrayed if he was so easily able to move on.