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Cassandra

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  • #55678
    Cassandra
    Participant

    Runner, darling, I have been in your situation, so I hope I can offer some advice. I too moved to a different state for someone who ended up breaking up with me 2 years later. I couldn’t really afford to live on my own and didn’t want to room with strangers in a strange state without family, so I did the only thing I knew to do…I called my mom and said, “I’m coming home.”

    Moving back in with parents at age 26 is no easy thing to do. I felt humiliated, but I considered it a stepping stone to something greater. I knew it was the only way to start over.

    Is moving home or at least moving back to your home state an option? Being close to family and good friends makes such a difference.

    Yes, the breakup will hurt like hell and no, it’s not fair that you sacrificed your life for his, but sometimes these things just happen and eventually we do move on. Don’t fret over why he did what he did (you’ll drive yourself crazy). Cry if you need to, feel the pain, but then let it go. Just close this book and start a new one. I promise it will be a much better read.

    #55676
    Cassandra
    Participant

    Hello Dawson,

    I wish I had some super amazing advice to give you, but all I can think to do is point you to a book because I think these issues you’re facing have to do with the patterns you’ve learned over time. It’s a really tough thing to change how we think and our actions. We can have all the great intentions in the world and still never act upon them. It’s all about habit, how many of us are in auto-pilot. Essentially, our brains are running the same program over and over again!

    Anywho, to the book recommendation; it’s called Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza.

    Hope it sparks something in you!

    #55675
    Cassandra
    Participant

    Hi Jessa,

    I’m a lot like you in that I crave really close, lasting friendships and I don’t just befriend anyone. This sort of approach has positives and negatives – one of the negatives being that it’s HARD to find those kind of friendships. The good thing is that when you do, it’s well worth it.

    I’d say that if you’re giving and giving to these people and not receiving anything in return, look elsewhere. Relationships are give and take and you deserve the kind of energy you’re giving them in return.

    As for feeling paranoid, well…I’ve been there too. It has to do with self-esteem and knowing your worth. Ask yourself, “Do I form relationships with people because I’m being polite?” Chances are you’re not. People become friends because they like each other! Trust yourself and your friendships.

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)