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Cecia

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  • in reply to: Anti-depressants: Help? #79487
    Cecia
    Participant

    Hi Val,

    I have a bit of a different opionion on antidepressants than most of those who replied here, I think.
    I have only good experience with them. I was on Cipralex/Lexapro for some years and it has helped me a lot.
    I had no negative side effects and I reacted very well and fast to it.
    I took it for mild depression. I was hesitant to try SSris as well, as I too read a lot of negative stories and how withdrawal would be hard and how you would feel worse after getting off them because your brain would be used to the serotonin and not adjust without it etc.

    At the time though I really just wanted to feel better and get that little boost so I could start changing my life situation, taking care of myself, working out more etc, so I took it. And, like I said, I felt better within weeks. Might also have been a placebo effect because I felt like I finally did something to feel better – but I didn’t care.
    The main thing is to recover and feel ok again.

    My opinion is that it is important to improve the chemical imbalance that the brain suffers from in times of depression, anxiety etc.
    because there is such a thing as pain memory, also with the brain. The longer you feel depressed or anxious, the more these patterns or pathways in the brain can manifest themselves and the harder it is to get rid of these neural pathways that have formed.

    It is know though that not all antidepressants work for everyone and some people just take longer to find one that is working for them.
    Maybe this is also why some people have a bad experience with them.

    It is important to have a psychiatrist you can trust and who will explain everything to you. And if you take them do so exactly as your doctor says. Never stop taking them from one day to another, because this is when some “withdrawal symptoms” will occur.

    Also, it is not true that ssris are addictive. They are not like benzose or opiates.

    Good luck and I hope you feel better soon, no matter your decision to try them or not.

    in reply to: How to deal with my worry about my father #78565
    Cecia
    Participant

    Dear Anita,
    I agree, it is definitely difficult to apply what we learn in times of challenge. But I try to tell myself I AM already applying it just by recognizing my patterns and by thinking about applying it etc – if that makese sense.
    I try to do a sitting meditation every evening, but I have been on business trips etc and have just been so busy that I do find excuses to not do it all the time…

    In the meantime, my dad had finally an apointment to talk with the surgeon who was supposed to do the sugery that he cancelled because no one told him what exactly they wanted to do and why. A surgery is unavoidable at this point and the surgeon was encouraging, telling him it is one of his most common procedures and he will get life quality back.
    He still has an apointment for a second opinion, but I think there won’t be a much different outcome.
    For some strange reason, I am feeling better now. Although I had hope that they would say he only needs a tiny surgery and no fusion, I still feel not as anxious anymore. And feel somehwat optimistic that he will be so much better after surgery.

    I don’t know how the change iny my feeling towards all of this came..but I’ ll take it.
    My dad is still calm and positive as always.
    I also tell myself that – while this is nothing that we should be happy about – this is not a total crisis situation. There are so many more medical problems affecting people and it isn’t anything out of the “ordinary”.

    That’s a bit of rambling from me 😉

    in reply to: How to deal with my worry about my father #78246
    Cecia
    Participant

    Dear Anita,
    Yes, I am sure he felt good that he was able to comfort me and that we addressed this openly.
    I also told him that I really admire his positive way of dealing with things and that I think his personality will also help him in the process (surgery, recovery etc).

    Re my tendency for depression: the times it flared up where mostly in times of distress. First time during a big life decision regarding a relationship and relocation etc, then when I wasn’t happy with my job and overall living situation etc.
    Sometimes I do have minor slips of moods for a while and try to just accept it but afterwards I can often tell that there was also a reason for it in my life circumstances.
    But generally, why I am prone to this is because I have very high expectations for myself, my life and also others. And low frustration level. I am getting better and mindfulness and a mindfulness therapist (who I also talk to during the sessions) do help a lot.
    I really understand myself a lot better now. I don’t think I am “weak” or “damaged” anymore because I have had episodes of depression.

    So yes, I guess it stems from my personality but it is definitely controllable and I do find out I am getting better about it and don’t freak out when I have some bad days (in the past I would have thought: oh no, it is starting all over again, I will never be ok.).

    Right now, I don’t feel really depressed as in “i don’t know what would help me now”, I feel more worried and sad as in “Everything would be ok if I just knew my dad will be ok / if my dad didn’t have this problem now”.

    Thanks for reading all of this…

    in reply to: How to deal with my worry about my father #78155
    Cecia
    Participant

    Anita, thanks for your kind words.

    Did you talk to your father about this fear? Hold his hand and tell him how you fear for him… you may find comfort in connecting with him about this fear.

    This is actually exactly what I did recently when I went to visit them. I sat there and started crying and held his hand and he told me it is ok (the fact that he has to comfort me now when he is the one with the surgery etc) and that he will be ok.
    He told me that I can see how well he is dealing with the situation and that I should take comfort from this and that he feels spoiled to have been so healthy for so long and accepts that this is a first “little niggle” at the age of 76.

    Bethany,
    haha thanks, I hope I can still keep my humor 🙂

    And yes, I know I am lucky to have such caring and “cool” parents who just “get” me.
    But naturally, the fear of loss is very big that way.
    I do practive mindfulness meditation, have done for some time now – as I am prone to mild depression and I was looking for a way to stabilize myself. It does help and it also helps me to recognize the patterns of the mind such as thinking ahead and dramatizing etc.
    But still, the sadness is obviously there right now. I think this situation and the thoughts and fears that come along with it have just made me very emotional and also very nostalgic right now. I miss the feeling of “everything is ok” and of a carefree young life.
    I know it is natural and normal for life to not always be sunshine and roses and I try to work ony my acceptance towards feelings I don’t like.
    So long story short: yes, I try to take extra care of myself now and medidate. I also execercise and do yoga, which I think also helps my mental health.

    It is just difficult for me now because I felt very stable and at ease at the beginning of the year. I had an unhappy episode with one of those useless guys I fall for 😉 and was surprised how fast and well I got over it and felt very strong and good after this.
    But now there is this worry and I do notice how it affects me and whenever I feel sad or teary or anxious it reminds me of phases when I was depressed so it is hard for me to accept that as something “normal”.

    in reply to: How to deal with my worry about my father #77988
    Cecia
    Participant

    Thanks Inky and Bethany, for your replies.


    @Inky
    : I am not religious, so I don’t pray, but thank you for sharing your experience. He will definitely have surgery, the question is just what kind of surgery. I hope it will the smaller one and a fusion won’t be necessary.


    @Bethany
    : I am attached to my father because he really is an awesome person 😉 Kind and caring, intelligent and creative with a great sense of humor. But most of all, I really need his positive way of looking at things. He is my rock in a way.
    (Contrary to popular believe, the guys I have been with or I fall for are not like my father at all, by the way.)
    I have a big circle of friends and a few really close female friends who I can share a lot of problems with and who I really trust – but
    some things, I’d rather not tell them. There are of course also things I’d rather tell my friends and not my parents/father.
    But as far as talking about my moods or my emotional stabiliy or instability, I ‘d rather keep this in my family.
    So he gives me some perspective when I get too dramatic, some lightheartedness when I get too heavy, some optimism when I need it etc.
    I don’t know anyone else who can talk so much sense in such a positive way.
    And I don’t know how I can do this for myself.

    I also don’t know if it would help if I had a relationship. My experience with guys isn’t the best. Nothing horrible or abusive, but
    I tend to fall for the guys that aren’t exactly keepers, or I am not just interested enough in a relationship myself.

    Long story short: I know I am (overtly?) attached to my parents. Then again, I got lucky. They are two good people and I really want them to be well and enjoy the time while I still have them.

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)