Forum Replies Created
October 24, 2014 at 4:12 pm #66748CarmelaParticipant
Hi everyone. Its good to have a space like this where sharing happens. Ive had my share if heartaches over time, and needless to say, im in one at the moment thats why im here posting. Any relationship that goes sour hurts really bad. And from what ive gone thru (and going thru again!), the way to move forward is to feel your emotions (pain, anger, resentment, etc), accept the finality that there is no “us” but “you” and to make yourself understand that the only person you need to think of is yourself.
Being dumped after 8 yrs is mind blowing, to say the least. Your ex hitting on your friend so soon after that exacerbates the pain even further. Ive gone from no sleep to some sleep and now a few hours of sleep. Days have gone by and its one hell of a feat. Ive cried my eyes out in the first few weeks and still do but the frequency has diminished. Time has a way if easing the pain, i must say. I have my lows and holidays/weekends are the worst times for me. Guys who posted earlier are right in saying that keeping busy has its way of taking your mind off the situation. But at the end of the day when i lie in bed, my mind starts working overtime thinking of the past, of him. I did not need FB or viber to stalk him. My mind was doing all these bad things for me… IT must be the fear of moving forward on my own that i am crying for. Because everytime i ask myself if i would to go back to being us, the answer would be no. We were blessed with 8 years of togetherness to seal it but at the end of all my efforts, he decided he could not match mine. Or more aptly, he DID NOT WANT TO. Life is made of choices. He chose to not be with me – and that i cannot do anything about. I kniw wht needs to be done to forget him, but frail as i am emotionally – i often fall from the horse that will take me to a better place. I feel better after almost 3 months post-separation but i am not completely healed. My head says go but my heart is stuck. To make me feel better, i constantly have to remind myself that i have to let “us” go. When i am taken that few steps backward, i feel my pain and walk forward again ever so slowly. And this has helped a lot. I still coukd not bear thoughts of him with someone else but guys in this thread are right – i have no right to question who and why he is with that someone. My past cannot be changed and i cannot make him come back. I know i will stumble on my way to being someone better but i am beginning to realize that i MUST ensure that i get ME there. To that better place. And my mind has to help me do it. Because no one else can.