Hello!
I am an addict as well but my poison is meth.
I started slamming it four years ago. I was going through a terrible time in my life and the high was the only escape I felt I had. I successfully quit and stayed clean about 6 months at a time. So I would always be high in say April until around September. Then be clean again. I wasn’t until I was able to remember how shitty life was when I was using that I was able to stay clean. I experienced some life changing moments in my high years but it also made me realize what I value and what I can do with out.