Cheaw Hon

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    Cheaw Hon

    well I want to say hi to anita too!

    for Sophia,
    you asked is there a technique you can stop yourself from focusing on the way you look? you can always decide what you want. don’t bother about others’ comments about you. we had all been there before. Can we stop their mouth from pouring out more intoxicating words that are destructive enough to ruin your self esteem? we can’t. what we can do is to take it easy.or you can do your best to avoid contact with the people that are criticizing you.if there’s really no way to avoid them and the situation is getting worse , you will have to confront them. Ask them to stop it and tell them you are not feeling ok about it. There are many other things you can concentrate on. You can focus on whether you want to continue to further studies, spend time to achieve something in your career, or even on your hobbies. Enjoying your life can definitely help you to feel good . You feel insecure . The truth is most of us do. Chances are the people who ridiculed you are feeling insecure too. Don’t feel that you are alienated and consider yourself as underachiever or not as good as the others.No one is perfect but we can always work hard to improve ourselves in a healthy way. Accept our flaw and live with it!

    Cheaw Hon

    Hi Sophia!
    I really can relate with your situation. I had been given names for the way I looked and how much I weighed , how I dressed myself or even what kind of school bag I used (they prefer branded ones )etc. You know what this is perfectly normal. People condescend others to make themselves feel good. Other times they’re just having fun gossiping without regarding the impact they can do to us. Sometimes they are unaware that they had hurt us, sometimes they did it on purpose to provoke us. Just because I’m academically excellent and I’m not good in socializing with other people, people often stereotyped me as a ‘Nerd’ . Well yeah I’m a nerd, so what? we can be anyone we want to be, no one can label us with their own measurements. Love yourself, you need to learn how to embrace who you are. You are healthy, looking smart and you’re a graduate ! That sounds good to me 🙂 you should be confident about yourself! Don’t let others ‘ poisonous word lower your self esteem. You are fine just the way you are. You will only be able to feel genuinely happy when you fully accept yourself . Do not avoid taking pictures with others, it is not a competition of who’s looking good, taking photos is just a way to keep our memories recorded. If you do avoid, you are actually giving cues to others showing them indirectly that you are not confident about yourself .

    Cheaw Hon

    Hi Amy! I know that everything may seems bleak for you now but what you should do is to move on. Don’t let the negative thoughts grow on you. Just like a inspirational quote I just saw on a tiny buddha ‘s page, positive people also have negative thoughts but we should not let those negative influences dwell in ourselves.Sometimes the darkness may seem to consume us, making us feel so hopeless and feeling like we want to give up. but remember, no matter how long a night is, there will always be a dawn, and a sunshine every morning.We should abjure the negative things in our lives and treasure the precious and wonderful things instead. For you, your baby is someone who you should spend the limited lifetime of yours with and someone who you should focus on . It’s good that you had got rid of your own alcoholic problems. What you should do now is to let go of your past and live in the present. This means that you should forgive him.Lord teaches us to forgive for he will also forgive us for our sins if we remorse.In order to let go of the past, you have to forgive him. it doesn’t mean that you have to let him interrupt your life again but a way to cut clear the relationship between the two of you. You should have a serious talk with him, tell him how you feel and let him know that you want to move on and live a new life which is better than before. If he doesn’t cooperate with you, let him be. The withdrawal of visitation should be able to stop him from interfering you and your baby’s lives.

    Do not waste your life to hate someone. Life is short, the time we have to love ourselves, others is already not enough, why do we spend so much more time of our lives to hate? Hating someone is so tiring. it’s so exhausted and painful. why do you have to make your life so miserable by hating him? He won’t even care.

    Live for yourself. Live for your baby. Live for all the wonderful things in your life. Life is wonderful. This world is wonderful. It’s so beautiful and you should spend more time to discover the amazing things that are happening around you. Look at the blue sky and see the birds flying so freely midair . look at the colorful horizon. Take your time to look at the flowers that bloom when the spring is here. Isn’t this world beautiful? God had created such a beautiful world for us! You should look at it more clearly

    The wonderful time may only occur as only a small part of our lives while the rest of it seem so shity . I understand it. that’s why we should focus on the wonderful part even more because it is so precious! Don’t let it slip away just like that. It’s not worth it. Just like a firework, it is not everlasting but it’s beautiful.Human’s life is not everlasting too. that’s why we should appreciate it and live our lives meaningfully with good purposes .

    Do you wonder why do we exist on this earth? Do you ever wonder what is the meaning of life? I had wondered. Well, we live for different purposes that god had planned for us. Sadly there are many people who live their lives in vain. You may spend your whole life fulfilling your materialistic desires but what do have you truly earned? when you breathe your last breath can you say out loud that you have no regrets in your life?

    No. We can only say that we have lived our lives to the fullest when we have lived our lives meaningfully.Everyone has different purposes. it may take our whole life to seek and found the purpose,but when you found it. you will have no regrets.

    Amy, I truly hope that you can find your own purpose in life. Do not live your life in vain for hatred and resentment . forgive . when you lose something, you will gain something. you have to let go. you should start off by being positive and take good care of your baby. Seek for god. He will help you. let him be your light in the darkness and lead you to the bright side of yourself and the world. Don’t let the anger and hatred consumes you. Love with burning passion 🙂 I hope my post can ignite your spirit and help to inspire you in order to live a better life

    Cheaw Hon

    Hi !I am Cheaw. I’m here to tell you that you are not alone I had been there before. When my mom passed away when I was twelve and my dad left the family when I was thirteen, I was torn apart. My heart was broken and I was too young to handle all the pain that was such overwhelming.

    The year after my mom passed away, my secondary school years started .
    Due to my issues, I was always so moody and unhappy that all my classmates were so sick of me, that they were reluctant to see my face and even to hang out with me . As my dad left us, the situation became worse. As I couldn’t blend in with the people in my school the bully started. They banned me and isolatede in group projects. They neglected me and didn’t let me take part in most of the group activities in school.

    They began to make silly jokes about me. It was still a situation I could handle but day by day their jokes went bolder and bolder until it was unbearable for me. I was a conservative and introverted person. I couldn’t bear when the guys in the class had made explicit jokes about me filled with sexual contents!They let me heard what they said in order to provoke me and felt so much fun by doing it. They even started to make fun of me about the way I looked and how much I weighed. No one would ever talk to me in school because it would be a humiliation to talk to me.

    they definitely had ruined my self esteem. I felt too hysterical and started to skip my school frequently and the consequence was that my academic performance went straight to the bottom… it made me even more embarrassed because I used to be a straight aces student. Every time I go to school anxiety conquered me, it was so intense that I felt like I was suffocating. My heart would start pounding so fast and my mind rushing in light speed. it was so excruciating. The school was a hell to me. It was so bad until my vice principal had came to my house to talk to my grandparents who were my guardians.

    Finally I decided to shift to an all girls school. I successfully made a few decent and sincere friends and I know that from that day onwards I need to start a new life. I have to be strong.
    As I grow up, I went through the process into becoming a new person who is stronger and better, I came across countless obstacles and also a lot of hard times when I had doubts upon myself . I learn my lesson day by day. Everyday I try to improve myself.

    I don’t want to be an underdog anymore. I can do it! I tell myself that I’m better than who I assume myself to be because I am. No one can judge me, they aren’t god, they have no right to say what is wrong and what is wrong about me. Believe me, everyone has their own weaknesses, who are they to say that they are flawless and we are full of flaws? I live with this principle every day.

    I improve myself everyday. when I’m down, I cry out loud but I stand up strong again after I had spilled out all my sadness and I’m a fresh person again. No one can ever beat me down. As I came to know lord I know how to love myself and the people around me even more.

    I’m now 18. I’m a brand new me. I am not afraid to make friends and talk proudly in public anymore. I enjoy my social life . Remember, the people around are just as ordinary as you are, why do we have to think of ourselves as worthless and non worthy garbage? we are not and no one is. anyone can be who they want to be as long as you keep moving on and try to be better than who you are today compared to yesterday ! Keep your spirit up and strong! Gambateh and do live your life to the fullest filled with passion 😀

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