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I understand your concerns regarding graduation. I did feel that working was far easier than attending university. You will find a wider variety of people and interests. You will also be able to see that you have already accomplished much in your brief time here on the planet.
As for the comparing yourself to others. This is hard to not do and in some respects when you are copying the good characteristics of others then I think in general you can try to copy these attributes. Things such as kindness and forgiveness benefit all of mankind.
Comparing yourself in terms of looks, money etc is just purely a waste of time. Give up the “should be like or should have done” internal dialogue and be sure to understand that your journey is unique.
Hope you are able to work all this out, seek professional help when needed ( I did) and reach out to share and help others along the way.
When I read this I realize how feelings like yours are common to so many people. When we try to always please others or fit in then it can backfire. When we try to first honor who we are, then we will find that individuals we meet with also honor us with respect and when there is a commonality, friendship. Like you, I spent many years as a people pleaser. Giving that up made me free and taught me to love myself unconditionally.
You describe yourself as a university student, fantastic. Keep up your studies, earning your degree is an accomplishment you can feel proud of. Join groups that interest you and look to find others with that same interest. Treat yourself well, others will notice and also treat you well.
As a community, this forum is so good for sharing. In this, we are aware that we all face very similar challenges.
NamasteDecember 3, 2017 at 8:41 am in reply to: Please, please something is very wrong with my mind! #180351
I cannot pretend to understand DPDR but it sounds very scary from what you have written. I have dealt with severe anxiety and experienced very brief episodes of what you describe. Anxiety can convince anyone that situations that challenge us are also threatening to our being. Having to deal with this causes enormous pain and suffering.
Hoping that you know you are not alone in dealing with this challenge, sharing here has helped everyone posting on this thread and in hearing your story we become more accepting of our stories.