Thank you A4U! You sound like one of my dearest friends. She too is wise.

Thanks Anita, but that’s not what I meant. But your paragraph does describe him. You are right, we humans do things that will benefit ourselves but his intention is where things differ. He’s sneaky, so what might look and or seem like a nice gesture,  turns out to be a calculated move on his part. Hope that makes sense. He wasn’t motivated at all in telling me, I came home unexpectedly & caught him on his phone doing porn. Which just set up a whole bunch of red flags. And that was the start of the end. Thanks cherri