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September 24, 2016 at 12:44 am in reply to: It may actually be me causing most of my relationship issues? #116113CherylParticipant
I don’t think it’s unrealistic to want someone to want you, I’ve had the same issues but it is a dependency thing . It’s like you need another person to validate who you are, their actions are making you feel unloved etc. I would spend some time getting to know yourself and doing things you enjoy. I have been the same with previous partners but I honestly don’t think there is anything wrong in expecting , kindness, someone getting up in the night to get you a drink, cuddles when your ill . Accepting people as they are doesn’t mean you have to accept them as a partner, if it doesn’t feel right then move on -but trust and communication is important talk to him first
Good luckCherylParticipantHi, I’m new to this site and felt drawn to this post
My husband pushed me into marriage ( second one) our relationship was fantastic at first then I realised once he’d moved in with me, that he had some very nasty traits. Jealous , clingy,childish I won’t go on ,but I loved him never the less
Around 6 months ago he basically said he wanted to live on his own, have his own finances back and travel , causing me to have to sell the house and other upheavals
He had some sort of midlife crisis I know it , he still contacts sometimes to say how much he loves looking at my pictures and how he grieves , but on the other hand he’s away on a 2 week trip to the USA that I should have gone on pasting all his pictures on Facebook ( so I’ve been told)
The question is I’ve become very interested in Buddhism and have started meditation classes and for years have tried to adopt the non attachment and forgiveness etc, I think that’s why people are amazed at how strong I am as it’s definitely give me strength
I am however really really struggling with anger I imagine whilst I’m sorting out the mortgage and finding a new house, also,the fact im bewilderment and sad as to why this happened , he has flown and is free of all responsibility ,he’s travelling got lots of plans like I was just a chapter in a book
I would appreciate some ideas on how to let go of him as I believe the best punishment is for me to be really happy -
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