Christina Kellagher

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    Christina Kellagher

    hey brokenbird,

    it is best to find the source of your anger. if you say you have no control over the situation, you have to look at it in a different way. I have felt too that my situation was uncontrollable and worse I assumed being angry, and being angry constantly was just the way life was.

    Unfortunately this has led to a lot of mental and physical issues. I blamed myself and people around me. I get destructive and unrealistic when I am angry. I am not sure if you feel the same. But there is hope in dissolving your anger and feeling good again. Of course you will be angry, calm down, and then remember it again, maybe a trigger or something will bring the angry thoughts back.

    It was until I saw a therapist that I understood that I had a right to be angry. Maybe you have a right to be angry. Maybe you know the reasons for being so angry. Once you accept that you are angry all the time, and you have reasons then you can start working towards healing your anger. Even if you let go of the anger and it arises again, that’s completely normal.

    Anger is a destructive cycle. It has taken me a long time (years) to realize how destructive my anger is. Once I even told my therapist that I didn’t feel like myself when I was happy, that anger was all that I knew. She said it was a vicious thought cycle and would take diligence in stopping it.

    I still deal with it but I am more conscious of my triggers and have found what makes me calm down quicker. Joining forums, talking to others, friends and family, or even going to a therapist can help alleviate your symptoms and with more time and practice, you will be able to move on from the anger and be able to put out the fire before it gets stronger.

    I hope some of this helps 🙂

    Christina Kellagher

    Great topic!

    For me impediments to my personal growth are dwelling on the past (I am not good enough) and to stop dwelling I avoid it by keeping myself busy.

    It is true a lot of articles out there say “the only way” but there are many ways to live a complete and free life and they need to be personalized. What works for you might not work for me but it’s always worth a try.

    The most practical is being mindful, slowing down thoughts, so that you can think rationally and talk yourself into rational actions that will help you to grow.

    I personally have to “tune out” for a while. I get agitated and overwhelmed by all the information that is available to us. It’s stimulation overkill. To the point that I seek only instant gratification and I can’t stop for long enough to even think clearly about what I want to improve. So I turn off the computer, not watch t.v. (which I barely do anyways but if I do it’s never constructive), put my phone on silent.

    Once I tune out outside stimuli, I am overwhelmed by my own self awareness because I have to think for myself without some other medium entertaining my mind. Thoughts such as “I am not good enough, or I don’t have time, Or I don’t deserve this” pop into my head and I realize I haven’t tuned out for long enough to be comfortable with myself and to truly be mindful of what makes me feel free.

    So my suggestion for others is to tune out: drop what you are doing…is it really that important right now? Turn off the computer, silence your phone, turn off the T.V. and sit for 10 minutes. Feel how more aware you are, ask yourself what do you hear, see, smell, taste, touch in that moment. Breathe. All of this makes me aware of my surroundings and then I can focus on stopping self destructive thoughts that impede my personal growth.

    I wonder if this works for other people?

    Christina Kellagher

    I agree with both.

    When I was really angry as a teen I would go for a run and sometimes I would bolt as hard as I could until I became exhausted and had to stop. I think it shows how intensely consuming anger is and how abruptly it stops. I have been angry most of my life for past events and even to this day it affects me. It clouds my mind, consumes my thoughts, reduces positive feelings, etc.

    I have finally learned of a few things I can do to calm myself down but it is often hard because I succumb to “blind rage.” But it they might be effective for others too.

    I think it is important to walk away and be by yourself. When I am around someone that has made me angry or is making me angry I walk away and tell them I need space. I think it’s important to let them know that you need time to calm down so they don’t take it even more personally.

    Most people think this is running away from problems but to me it is effective to get some clearance from the trigger and breathe. Once the trigger is out of my physical sight I try to breathe deeply and once my physiological reaction has subsided, I can rationally talk myself down.

    Anger is the most irrational emotion. It is by far the most consuming more than love in my opinion and easiest to have. I think people are more apt to anger than to love. It is destructive not only to the mental and physical self but to other living things. I think it is wise that from an early age people learn to develop a sense of emotional intelligence, to recognize their reactions and find personal solutions to come back to rationality.

    Christina Kellagher

    Yes, I love crocheting am a beginner, so I make scarves all the time… any good web resources for learning how to master more complex crocheting? Maybe I can get through making a pair of mittens…

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