Forum Replies Created
November 23, 2013 at 8:34 pm #45692
He’s being abusive.
Get out of that relationship. You deserve love and happiness and darling not this and it’s just going to get worse if you stay with him.
I’m telling you simply from experience. I suffered for 4 years with someone who was just like this and it got to the point I almost succeeded in taking my own life…
You’re worth every happiness this world has to offer and he deserves nothing of you.
Please, cut him off. Please.November 23, 2013 at 4:41 am #45681
I came out of a seriously abusive relationship almost two years ago.
The best thing you can do is focus on your child. They’re going to need you more than ever if you leave the picture and must come first before the possibility of another relationship.Find stability on your own, build yourself esteem and confidence back. You and your child deserve that.
You must focus on yourself and your child before you find someone else or you won’t be making stable foundations for your child to develop and it may turn into a constant tousling back and forth between uncertainty to uncertainty.
Also, if this guy leaves his current partner for you, what’s to say he won’t do the same later down the line to you? :/
Take a couple of deep breaths and decide based on what is best for your baby, with you supporting them wholehearted, happy and feeling confident.
It takes a massive amount of courage to be a single mother, and a massive amount to leave a potentially abusive relationship, especially if they’ve apologised over and over… You’re doing the right thing by stepping away. No one deserves to be made to feel continuously to blame or to be at the short end of someones fuse, especially if they are a loved one and a ‘life partner’.
I would, right now, forget this other guy as partner material. You have your life to build and he seems to be only hindering and hurting you too by saying things about how he’d like it to work and then going cold when it comes to leaving his partner. Be strong on your own. You need no one else but you and your son or daughter.
When you feel lost, look to your baby. They’ll be your light.
All of my love to you both. xNovember 22, 2013 at 4:18 pm #45675
I was at my lowest almost 2 years ago. I’ve questioned my own existence too; I felt so depressed, unneeded, unloved, useless and completely alone. So I can understand (a little) what sort of pain you may be in…
But here is the thing:
You are very much loved and needed on this planet. You have made a difference in so many people’s lives by working at that hospital and even if 1,000,000 other people could’ve made the difference happen, it wasn’t any of those people. It was you. You got off your arse and did it. Even if you make only one person smile a day, you made a difference.
You can overcome any barrier you or someone else makes for you. You are capable and strong than you think.
I can tell you care simply from listening to your post. You can ignite that into passion with a little faith in yourself. The only time we fail is when we refuse to try anymore.
So go on, be selfish. It’s great to be selfish. Only by taking care of ourselves can we be available to take care of others. Just temper it with love and patience for every human being you meet.
You’re going to be great in health care. I have that faith in you and in your dreams.
You can do this.November 22, 2013 at 3:59 pm #45673
Hey Tom. I’m sorry to hear about your tough time.
My mother is negative a lot of the time as well. As I’m only 21 and still living with her whilst trying to get myself properly sorted out in life, it can be difficult to constantly receive criticism and negativity about choices you make.
A lot of the time, I would just prefer my mother to ask ‘Why?’ in a curious and caring way. As long as you are mindful in your question you should get an honest response.
By asking why, I feel someone is seeking to understand what I’m trying to do or say. You can then figure out the reasons as to why your friends or family feel it’s the correct course of action or have suggested it. From there, a more balanced and informed opinion can be made and you can remain mindful of your disposition.
What’s fantastic is that you saw and have outwardly expressed what you want to change. Mr Hasselstrøm is very correct, change starts within and it’s a decision everyone has to make about one issue or another.
Focus on being the person YOU want to be and, most importantly, forgive yourself. You sound like you’re still beating yourself up about it.
If you don’t forgive yourself you’re not going to allow yourself the space to grow.
I hope this helps – changing is not always an easy thing.
All the best x
- This reply was modified 10 years ago by Hollie Caddock.