November 23, 2013 at 3:33 pm #45691DeeDeeParticipant
Hey, this is my first time on here. I have a situation that is leaving both financially, mentally, and emotionally strained. Okay I was with this guy for the past 2 years. When we first got together everything was good. We should have arguments, but I think the respect was gone the day he hit me. I had to get stitches for my eye and come to find out he had cheated on me. He used to wait until I went to work to do his dirty. At first I was nieve, but when he had got locked up (and I had his phone) that’s when I found out the truth (plus the girl had the nerve to call the phone). Okay I left him completely and moved to another city (not to get away from him, more because of work) and started doing me, but for some reason I kept missing him and crying over the hurt. Okay we get back together because he told me everything was going to be different. From the time we got back together to now I feel like we argue a lot. He has a lot of females calling his phone (he says they are his homegirls…..how you become friends with someone you just met that fast) and its like everything thing I do is wrong. We can have an argument, then before I know it I’m getting called out of my name and threatened. Here is the deal killer, from the time we was dating to now he never really had a job. I would put money in his pocket. Now he has a job its like his attitude change as if he is better than me. To be honest a lot of time there is no respect from him. He would talk on the phone with his “homegirls” and go out whenever he feels like it. Yet when I leave just to go chill with a homegirl he blows up my phone as if I am out doing something. But here is what makes things complicated, its like when we are calm and in love everything is great, but when he is mad or we’re arguing it’s like WWII. I found myself feeling like I did something wrong. In his mind he acts like he is a blessing to women. People tell me I need to leave him alone because clearly he doesn’t respect me and love me the way I do him, but I can’t let him go. Its like I love him and willing to do anything for him, but I can’t deal with the disrespect. When I say disrespect I mean calling me out my name, staying out late at night (sometimes not coming home until the next morning), and all these females. I would not have had a problem had I knew them, but its like he is keeping me a secret when it comes to them. I literally cut my male friends off because he keeps accusing me of cheating with them when I am not. I never cheated on him, but he doesn’t believe me. He took me going to my family house (who lives out of town) and the how long it took me to come back as a sign I was messing around. My family lives an hour and 45 (sometimes 2 hours depending on traffic) away. I always call him when I get to my destination and when plans have change. I even call him when I am about to leave from somewhere, but i dont get the same back. The sad part is he is older than me and does very childish stuff. For example today, I am on the phone trying to handle business. I told him what the individual on the phone said, but instead of him just listening and saying okay he sits there and say “Duh……Duh” and starts cursing. Its like his temper and attitude be on extreme for no reason. Then why I say something he goes and calls me all kinds of names and tries to beat me down emotionally. He brings up stuff that he knows would cut me deep like family issues. Its just wild to me that I am in love with someone that doesn’t even respect his own mother (that should say a lot). At first I thought our issues are because we are on different educational level, but he really acts immature sometimes. Its to the point my family does not care for him. If you was to see us in the streets you wouldn’t think we was together because he walks a few feet before me and doesn’t want to hold hands. With all this you’re probably wondering why don’t you leave or what is she doing that can get him like that? Honestly I know I am not perfect, but I always give people the upmost respect. I don’t want to leave because I honestly do love him and is willing to do anything for him, I just dont like the disrespect I get. It’s like he respect the people he just met more than me and I do more for him than any female would. Like just now I tried to talk to him about how I don’t want us to argue anymore and we should just chill like we always do. Instead of him wanting to do that or listen to me he turns up the tv. And here is what I don’t understand, how you can be so rude and disrespectful to someone, but turn around and ask them for their car? Its like I do for him and he takes, but as soon as he gets what he wants its f*** me. I am sorry if it seem like I am telling a lot, but right now I am so confused about what to do I am about to cry.November 23, 2013 at 8:34 pm #45692Hollie CaddockParticipant
He’s being abusive.
Get out of that relationship. You deserve love and happiness and darling not this and it’s just going to get worse if you stay with him.
I’m telling you simply from experience. I suffered for 4 years with someone who was just like this and it got to the point I almost succeeded in taking my own life…
You’re worth every happiness this world has to offer and he deserves nothing of you.
Please, cut him off. Please.November 24, 2013 at 5:31 am #45705AndrewParticipant
You are setting yourself up for a life of misery, hurt and disappointment if you do not get out of this relationship. Immediately accept the fact that this man is not good for you. Accept the fact that you deserve better and should never accept being in an abusive relationship. Value yourself enough to find the strength and the smarts to start a plan to move on.November 24, 2013 at 11:29 pm #45786Francis VParticipant
if the relationship is not bringing the best out of you, better leave that relationship. Yes, a brokken heart can be healed but it takes a longer time to heal emotionally. You deserve someone who would respect and love you.November 26, 2013 at 6:00 pm #45856JoJOeParticipant
Look up this “left my abusive husband” Read what thousands of others in abusive relationships have to say after putting in years and years of abuse.
Also read up on self worth and self esteem. Read up on “why women stay in abusive relationships” and realize you might be there already.
Which is very dangerous.
Love is not hate, love is not violence !!!!!!!!!!!!
If you are anyone says “i’d do anything for him” KNOW and KNOW NOW, it is not love, it is something else. That something else is rooted in your past.November 26, 2013 at 6:24 pm #45865JoJOeParticipant
A women walked up the mountain to visit a monk.
“please, she said, I need to learn everything there is to know”
The monk brought her to a cave and gave her many books to read.
Before leaving he turned and hit her with his walking stick.
The next week he returned and gave her more books to read.
Before leaving he turned and again hit her with his walking stick.
This went on for many more weeks
Then one day the monk raised his cane to hit the women
and she grabbed it and shouted STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR CANE!
He looked at her and said.
“You have learned everything you need, you may leave”