Jim McCarthy

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    Jim McCarthy

    I was just thinking about this topic of dating and relationships. I think many of us enter into a relationship not realizing how vulnerable we are emotionally. It isn’t until many of us grow older [me specifically], are disappointed and hurt a few times that we start to become aware of who we are mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It’s taken me over 30 years of living, therapy and watching Oprah to realize relationships are much healthier, enjoyable and enduring when I’m thinking, feeling and acting from a position of confidence, self-respect and self love. I’ll admit that I’ve done my share of disappointing and hurting others too.
    I want to echo what Paula said about self awareness and exploring your feelings. Listening to our hearts and intuition is such a valuable compass in making good, healthy choices and moving forward.
    I suggest you read Steve Harvey’s books on dating. He offers humorous and practical advice that will guide you in make sound healthy choices.
    God bless, Jim

    Jim McCarthy


    I’m glad to hear you are working with a therapist. Unfortunately there are no magic pills or quick fixes to the years of emotional and mental scars we acquire from childhood and into adulthood. I’ve had years of counseling. Some counselors I’ve liked, some I didn’t. Some medications have worked, some haven’t or required changing.
    It’s part of the journey of evolving into the person we deserve to be. I’ve learned from my past to become more compassionate and passionate about working with others to make a difference, to discover and reclaim their true selves. My past has enabled me to fall in love with learning. I love learning about people’s stories, their pain, their triumphs. I love learning and sharing what I’ve learned about empowerment, possibilities, procrastination, emotions etc.
    I encourage you to learn what works for you to quiet your parent’s voices, the voice of your inner critic and to challenge those voices with your new empowering voice.

    God bless

    Jim McCarthy

    Jon and AnnMarie, good attitude and outlook. Happiness is a choice and it becomes a state of mind when we nurture our thoughts with healthy, positive and uplifting experiences, quotes, literature, relationships etc. In addition to that is the necessity to minimize and avoid if possible the opposite as well as any substances, i.e. alcohol and drugs that can alter a healthy state of mind.
    In part, happiness is learning or accepting to be content with who you are, where you are and what you have, but also moving forward to becoming someone of greater value to others. Adding to AnnMarie’s comment of ‘keep shining’, let your light shine for others to see and be inspired to be a light to others.

    Jim McCarthy

    Hey Christiebae,

    There is a lot of wisdom and caring in the previous replies. I suggest when you are feeling low you refer back to them to remind you that this guy is not healthy and not healthy for you. You wrote, “He’s a very manipulative person who constantly makes me question myself.”
    and you wrote it further down. You are giving him power over your thoughts and feelings. Reclaim that confidence and happiness you had.
    Don’t believe his lies about ‘not finding love and intimacy’ The way he is treating you is the exact opposite of love and intimacy.
    I hope you focus on learning to value yourself. Don’t believe his twisted lies and selfish motives. Be with people who respect you, truly love you and want what is best for you. This sounds like the type of guy whose behavior will only escalate and become more abusive.
    Give yourself permission to let go. Give yourself permission to be happy and to heal. And ask yourself, How many times am I going to touch the hot stove before I realize I get burned each time? Or How many times am I going to put my hand in scalding hot water…?

    Jim McCarthy

    Hey Lexy

    What would it feel like to be and do your best at the present job you have now?
    Practice mindfulness by becoming aware of your feelings, senses and surroundings.
    What are you noticing about you others and your environment?
    What lessons or insights can you possibly learn from your current situation?
    Hope this is helpful

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