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Connie

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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 89 total)
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  • October 13, 2017 at 10:06 am in reply to: Ex being friendly #173035
    Connie
    Participant

    Yes, I remember those negative feelings too.

    I don’t know. I just miss him very much and realized that it’s been almost four months since we broke up.

    I am still trying to recover and just realize that it’s actually the longest time I have been single since 2011.

    October 12, 2017 at 9:04 am in reply to: Ex being friendly #172887
    Connie
    Participant

    I am not sure if it’s the feeling I miss. I think I miss HIM.

    on top of that, being with him offered me a sense of security. I liked waiting for him to get home, the excitement, and just knowing he’s around made me happy.

    October 12, 2017 at 8:23 am in reply to: Ex being friendly #172871
    Connie
    Participant

    Hello Anita,

    Yeah, I miss all small things we did together, shopping, cooking, laughing, watching tv, etc. I miss our conversations, our breakfasts and driving to work together. I used to love this man with all my heart.

    October 11, 2017 at 2:31 pm in reply to: Ex being friendly #172785
    Connie
    Participant

    NC into the 6th week.

    I thought I was over you until the bad dream woke me up last night.

    I miss you.

    October 10, 2017 at 11:44 pm in reply to: Feelings of guilt at blocking ex boyfriend #172695
    Connie
    Participant

    In my opinion, when there’s no chance to reconcile, it’s probably for the best to cut off communication completely, including blocking ex if necessary.

    It’s more about your self healing and growing from the breakup, and eventually learning to love yourself more than anyone else.

    Perphps you can try blocking for one or two months, just to give you some time to clear your head/collect thoughts, and unblock him when you are ready to communicate again?

    October 7, 2017 at 9:31 am in reply to: Scared of never recovering from cheating ex #172067
    Connie
    Participant

    Hi DM,

    i think i know exactly how you feel. My ex and I met and started dating when I was working in his country. I had to leave due to my vida expiration. Though I was already in process of getting another one, we had no idea if it’d get approved. So there’s a lot of uncertainty how things will develop.

    We broke up right after I left. We were still in love with each other during the breakup and both of us went through a very difficult time after that. Now we have completely stopped talking for a month, and I have come to realize that unless we can stop the long distance, otherwise we will never be together again. Because distance creates uncertainty and that leads to insecurity, for both parties. While some people find it’s bearable to live without physical intimacy, some don’t. Or some people are totally independent without their partner, some aren’t.

    I can read your determination and willingness to make things work with the distance. But for some people, things just don’t work this way.

    To answer your questions:

    (Like I said, I can relate to you. And I just don’t want to hurt you with my words if they are too straight as I have been having a hard time dealing with my own situation.)

    Honestly, there may be a small chance for you to get back together if you could move to London and live there without having to leave again. The chance is small because there’s already another person in the picture. Even though he claimed that he’s no longer with her, it’s not difficult to see that he’s been having hard time to cut himself completely off from her for whatever reason it is.

    If you want to move on, then you should cut off all contact eith him, which you seem to be doing already. Get yourself busy and try to be aware of your thought: whenever you notice you’re thinking about him again, remind yourself it’s just a thought, an idea, something in your past, and then focus on bringing your mind to whatever you are with in the present moment. I know it’s hard but that’s what I have been doing to get over my ex. I tried all attempts to get him back for the first two months after the breakup. Although I still miss him, I am feeling much better and start getting used to being without him and accepting the fact that he’s gone. Maybe I will go back, maybe I won’t. But surely I am not keeping my hope of reconciliation up as I used to.

    I really feel your struggle and hope you have the strength to get over this. You deserve to be happy, with or without him.

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Connie.
    October 7, 2017 at 8:38 am in reply to: Ex being friendly #172061
    Connie
    Participant

    We have been on no contact for 31 days.

    I never thought I’d make this far honestly and wish we could have done it sooner.

    Maybe I now miss him less, but lots of things still remind me of him, which can sometimes be unbearable.

    October 3, 2017 at 6:34 am in reply to: Ex being friendly #171351
    Connie
    Participant

    Hello Mina,

    thank you very much for your kind words. You are right. He will be happy and he knows how to take care of himself better than me.

    I cried a lot after reading my own words and realized it’s really time to move on. I did let go but I constantly remind myself of him. I must drop this habit because there’s no other way to be happy unless I focus on what’s ahead of me.

    I have been thinking what to take away from this past relationship, I guess at least I finally learned what true love is – it’s a kind of love that you are willing to make sacrifices for the sake of his.

    October 2, 2017 at 9:14 pm in reply to: Ex being friendly #171337
    Connie
    Participant

    It’s been more than three months since we last saw each other, six weeks since I finally broke things off with him and four weeks into NC.

    I remember how he waved goodbye at the airport until we couldn’t see each other anymore. I remember how he looked at me the last night before I left, he promised me we would be ok and he would come and visit me soon. I remember how we used to do silly things together to make each other laugh. Those things are like yesterday and  I never miss him any less, even to this day.

    We had a fight over the phone, then we agreed to break up before the conversation ended and never speak again since. For two months, I tried to reconcile because I loved him. However, deep inside there’s a voice telling me breaking up might be the best for us. We needed time apart to think about the relationship. Yes, every couple has ups and downs. Our problems were somehow too complicated.  I had struggled for two whole months before I finally sent him my goodbye email. I decided to let him go because I wanted him to be happy and I didn’t want him to suffer from my indecision. I wished success and all things he desires in life. He responded furiously to my last email. I thought it was best to leave him be. I understand why he was upset: He also realized there’s no turning back.

    Then two weeks later I sent him another email asking him to take care of my possessions at his house. He willingly agreed and that’s it.

    I feel I have done the best to end the relationship. No harsh feelings, no nasty words, but lots of regrets.

    It’s his birthday today. I wonder whom he spends this day with, is he happy? I hope so much I could still be part of his life. But it’s over, it really is over.

    Happy birthday, R. I wish you the best and happiness.

    Connie

    October 1, 2017 at 10:23 am in reply to: Ex being friendly #171163
    Connie
    Participant

    Hi Eliana,

    I think we have no choice but continue to move on. I can understand how you feel and really it hurts to see them happy, even though that’s what we ultimately want them to be.

    I guess there’s no point wishing them HB, not because they dont deserve it, but we need this time apart to heal. We have to love ourselves more than we them.

    October 1, 2017 at 8:06 am in reply to: Ex being friendly #171139
    Connie
    Participant

    Thank you for sharing your dreams, Eliana.

    I have been kinda depressed recently, because it will be my ex’s birthday soon and I have been thinking to wish him happy birthday or not.

    I remember last year I made a card for him, we had dinner at his favorite restaurant, played a game, and I got him the gift that he’d been wanting for so long. I remember writing in the card hoping we could celebrate every of his birthday in the years to come.  I tried so hard to make that birthday speical and unforgettable.

    My friends have been telling me not to contact him to wish him happy birthday. I agree and understand where they are coming from: Getting back in touch will only take me to square one of the recovery.

    I really love him. It’s already difficult to go on NC. Now I have to hold the urge not to wish him HB. Deep inside I still can’t believe it’s over.

    September 30, 2017 at 4:40 pm in reply to: Ex being friendly #171091
    Connie
    Participant

    I had a dream yesterday:

    He finally texted me and said he found his true love. He also sent me pictures of him and his new girlfriend. I was peaceful in the beginning, but he kept telling me things until I finally had enough!

    Then i woke up and realized it was just a dream. Ironically, I closed my eyes trying to fall asleep and keep dreaming because I missed talking to him, even though the conversation was so unpleasant.

    I still miss him a lot everyday. I don’t know what the dream means. Maybe I still can’t let go completely?

    September 28, 2017 at 6:08 pm in reply to: Ex being friendly #170857
    Connie
    Participant

    I have made NC into week 3. Neither of us has attempted to reach out.

    Sometimes I miss him terribly, thinking what it would be like if he talked to me again. Sometimes I acknowledge  myself for being so brave and strong and truly realize it was an unhealthy relationship which I shouldn’t have settled myself in. Other times I wonder if he has already moved on, perhaps he’s already dating again? Does he ever miss me?

    The breakup crashed me completely, but I have learned to know myself better and the pain actually has strengthened me in so many aspects. I learned to forgive myself and let go of things which used to push me to the edge of breakdown.

    I believe everything happens for a reason. His existence in my life is to help mature myself. I am great full to ever have him in my life.

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Connie.
    September 24, 2017 at 1:54 pm in reply to: Ex being friendly #170039
    Connie
    Participant

    It’s been three months since we broke up. Almost 20 days into NC.

    Its getting easier and harder. Easier because I am calmer and started being seeing things with my logical head which gives me the answer to what went wrong in our relationship. Harder because the idea of US is getting further and further behind each day.

    I know everything: time heals, I will grow, and we probably will find love with someone else again. But I hate the fact that we are not together anymore and that I still love you so much after knowing we are not compatible. I miss you so much that it hurts me just to think of you. I still wake up in the middle of night crying over the loss of you. Every thing still reminds me of you. I wish so much you could come back and work on things with me again. I thought we’d always love each other.

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by Connie.
    September 17, 2017 at 9:00 am in reply to: Ex being friendly #169012
    Connie
    Participant

    For some reason I do not want to lose the line of communication with my ex.

    His birthday is around the corner and I am thinking about emailing him happy birthday.

    I consulted some of my friends already and they all suggested that I save myself some diginity and just walk away, which is understandable. Wishing him happy birthday is more like telling him I still care about him. I do still care about him and just want to be nice to him. However, since we are broken up and I, to be honest, still hold the unrealistic hope of getting back to him, sticking to NC is probably better in the long run?

    Not sure what to do… I just miss him a lot I guess..

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