To live life wholeheartedly.

Hi,

I definitely wanted to share my experiences with you because they are very similar.

I just recently graduated college with the hopes of getting a job that would be motivating and awesome and perfect. I would have a difference in the community that would align with my goals of teaching nature and being outside. Expectations, expectations. They set me up for a false sense of reality…

When I did get a job (very thankful for, of course), I went in there feeling like I was going to make a difference. Instead, 75% of my day is answering phone calls, 10% dealing with people, and 15% making programs for kids (like i wanted). The red tape in our organization prevents new ideas from being implemented, so you’re set in the monotony of the typical workday. It can be depleting to your sense of worth and motivation to do the job.

From month 1 to month 3, I felt that general uneasiness you were referring to. This job did not provide the challenges that I needed to fuel my brain. I declared to my friends (not to my parents, thank goodness) that I would be quitting and farming/traveling instead. “Gotta travel while you’re young.” What an amazing life that would be, huh? I could just break my lease, take my dog with me (right?), and quit.

And the friend that I trust the most just straight up told me: “you have unfinished business here. you started something, and you should finish it. there was a reason you were so excited about this job. find it out.”

Digest that advice as you will.

So, I wanted to talk about some of the things that you pointed out:

Your teacher told you to look at your motive in order to find your purpose. If I, as an observer, looked at your motive, this is what it would be:

” It had respectable timings, that allowed one to have a personal life; it was not a high pressure job at all; it was with a non-profit, which I thought would give my work some sense of greater meaning. And the offer I was made was considerably higher than what I was getting in my old job.

You weren’t doing it only for the money. Money was an added bonus.

You had high expectations of this job, but it didn’t turn out to be as great as you imagined in your mind.

Expectations, Expectations… think about the power they had in determining your satisfaction with the job.

You say that your tasks are not difficult or complex–maybe that’s the issue. Because you aren’t challenging yourself, you feel anxiety. Ask your supervisor how you can have more responsibility. Or join with other co-workers to find how what they do and how they do it. Set your eyes on a goal at work and do small things to gain trust in your co-workers at your non-profit. And have faith that groups like your own have the potential to change the community–that’s important. Just find a tiny part of your job that you might enjoy, and don’t be afraid to tell your co-workers what you would like to see in your future. Chances are, they have probably been in a similar situation, and they can give you advice.

Plus, there are always opportunities to set goals in your personal life. Sit down with a cup of tea and some good music, and write down your personal goals. And keep them with you at work so you can try to implement them whenever you can.

With all these voices inside your head, it’s difficult to find clarity. I understand. But one thing that might be proving difficult to you is your transition from a “miserable” job–one that you constantly thought about after work–to one that doesn’t require that extra headache. Your previous goals were to just get through the day–survive. Now what are your goals? Maybe you’re struggling with what to think about, what to surround your life with, and who. This can lead to anxiety and a lack of fulfillment. With extra personal time, you have the perfect opportunity to set goals and stick to them. To find friends, and to learn with them.

You’re in this situation. Although your work environment has the potential to be fulfilling, work is an externality. The lack of fulfillment has nothing to do with your working conditions, its your perceptions of them. Because reality doesn’t add up to your preconceived expectations of your situation.

My suggestions are to make your office or working environment as comfortable as you can. Open windows, get plants with pretty pots, bring snacks to treat yourself, bring artwork to hang on your wall, do nice things for your co-workers, stay organized, ask for responsibility, get dressed like you will succeed, and stay positive. Outside of work, set goals for yourself that you want to achieve–and do them. Surround yourself with positive people and positive energy.

And a note on expectations… It’s okay to want the best from everyone and every situation–that’s human nature. But as soon as you are okay with everything, then everything will be okay. So try to let go of expectations and you’ll see the possibilities.