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Dain Supero

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • August 6, 2014 at 8:16 am #62747
    Dain Supero
    Participant

    Silence is more than fine as long as silence is in fact your intention and your body language is comfortable with it. It’s not the silence that’s awkward, it’s the awkward body language that almost always accompanies it. Some of the best salespersons, leaders, thinkers, orators, and politicians have used silence quite well as a tool, and to great effect.

    So now that you consciously know silence is okay and can sometimes be a good thing, allow your body to act according to this belief. Your subconscious body language will be much more agreeable.

    Your tendency to plan well is a great asset (as long as you believe it is). It’s only going to take a few situations where your questions and recommendations will make all the difference. Once people catch on, advancement won’t be far behind. That said, do make sure you’re applying the same standard of inquiry to your ideas as well as those of your colleagues. The last thing you want in a work environment is to project the image of Mr. Know-It-All, who’s there simply to derail someone else’s thoughts.

    August 5, 2014 at 10:13 pm #62731
    Dain Supero
    Participant

    Little Buddha,

    The Power of Now is a great starting point for a better understanding of presence and consciousness (state of Being).

    Tolle simply means to say that most (if not all) irrational thoughts stem from fear, usually fear of loss or failure. Think back to any time you felt this fear and you will agree that, at the bottom of everything, the thought of loss or failure orchestrated the whole episode. Fear can exist only as a memory (in the past) or as a possibility (in the future). We cannot be afraid of the present moment. We can only react to it.

    When a bear attacks you, you react. The thought of death activates certain neurotransmitters and neuropeptides, which instruct your body to produce certain hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. That is a rational, mental and physical reaction to an event. Fear is a mental, man-made construct that can live, as I said, only in the Then and Then, never in the Now. Becoming present therefore destroys fear by design. When you’re on a roller coaster at an amusement park, in the moment you are simply reacting. Think back to the actual ride itself. You didn’t have time to be afraid. Time didn’t exist. You just were. Only once you’re off the ride (or before it) do you “think” fearfully.

    Remember, fear leads to confusion, confusion to frustration, frustration to anger, anger to suffering, and suffering to the Dark Side.

    May the Force be with you.

    July 19, 2014 at 1:18 pm #61263
    Dain Supero
    Participant

    Ashley,

    Remember this also. You are not your mistakes, or your failures, or yours victories. Just because you made a mistake does not mean you are a mistake. Just because you failed does not mean you are a failure. Just because you won does not mean you are a winner.

    We often form this irrational attachment to the outcome of an event and then allow this outcome to define us, to say something about us. The way to overcome this tendency is to view everything as a lesson, every mistake or failure or victory or accomplishment. They all have something to teach us and therefore something to offer us. This realization also leads to a state of constant gratitude: you see everything as a potential teacher that gives you some value and helps you grow.

    You might have heard a variation of this quotation. “From life’s school of war: what does not kill me makes me stronger” by Nietzsche. Learning to see everything as a lesson is the key to a stronger you.

    Dain

    July 18, 2014 at 1:16 pm #61223
    Dain Supero
    Participant

    As much as possible, base your knowledge of general health, exercise performance, and nutrition on objective, rationally derived knowledge. In other words, clinical research, published studies, and so on. From this pool of accurate and objective knowledge, you can extract what works for you and thus form a personal and subjective routine/diet/etc.

    The problem with most fitness gurus is that they take subjective knowledge (what works for THEM) and advance that as objective knowledge that should work for everyone. Don’t get me wrong. If you’re watching these videos strictly for motivation or that momentary lift to get through workouts during a hard week, that’s different. Just don’t take everything they say at face value. Question it, investigate for yourself, then arrive at your own conclusion.

    If you want rational, objective, clinically backed articles on exercise performance and nutrition, visit my blog. I won’t post the link here; my intent is not to advertise my website. Find the link in my profile and browse the exercise performance and nutrition sections.

    If you have specific questions, contact me via the contact page.

    Best of luck with your studies and your pursuits.

    July 18, 2014 at 1:00 pm #61222
    Dain Supero
    Participant

    Yes, genuinely say “thank you.”

    That is all.

    July 18, 2014 at 11:30 am #61215
    Dain Supero
    Participant

    As someone who has messed up more than anyone I know, here’s the one thing I’ve learned about dealing with the past.

    You cannot erase the past. You can only replace it.

    We have this obsession with pondering our past and feeling regret as though doing so might bring relief or closure or what not. It never does, does it? The only way to overcome a painful past is to create a soothing present. Live now, not then. The fact that this thread exists is proof enough that you regret your mistake and have learned from it. Let it go at that. Focus on yourself, focus on now.

    Make today as good as possible and tomorrow will take care of itself.

    July 18, 2014 at 11:20 am #61214
    Dain Supero
    Participant

    Little Buddha, there’s already some great advice here to be followed, especially from Jasmine-3, so I will keep my words brief.

    Remember that “sadness, anger, frustration, hurt, jealousy, embarrassment, shame, guilt” and similar feelings are not things to be feared but to be overcome. We fear most what we do not know. It follows that becoming familiar with something is the surest way to overcome it. It follows also that embracing something is the surest way to become familiar with it.

    Do not run from your emotions. Allow them to enter your mind, and then observe them. “I feel angry, and that is normal. I acknowledge that I’m angry, but I acknowledge also that I have the strength not to act on it.” Once you become an observer of your thoughts rather than an emotional participant in them, they begin to lose their hold on you.

    Do not run away from yourself. Know and embrace yourself.

    July 18, 2014 at 11:12 am #61212
    Dain Supero
    Participant

    Perhaps this will sound a bit elementary, but the following technique has never failed me or my clients.

    When frustrated about a situation, person, or whatever, write this down on a piece of paper:

    1. What factual information do you know?

    2. What fictitious information or personal opinion are you applying to said situation?

    Separate these lists into two columns, if that helps, and then act only on what you know to be fact.

    Example: You just had a job interview and thought it went extremely well, but you didn’t get hired. Naturally, you’d feel a bit upset, or perhaps really upset.

    Fact: You had an interview, you didn’t get hired

    Opinion: It went extremely well, you should have been hired, you didn’t get hired because the interviewer didn’t like you.

    Possible reality: Someone else more qualified than you got hired and the interviewer had no bias whatsoever.

    This habit is difficult to form at first. Hence my suggesting that you write each situation and break it down into fact vs. opinion. There will come a time, perhaps in a month or two, when this will become second nature.

    July 18, 2014 at 10:56 am #61211
    Dain Supero
    Participant

    Dear Lurker,

    Several others have answered your question quite well. My two cents, as both a practicing Buddhist and a business owner, are these:

    1. Buddhism is not a religion; its laws are not laws but rather guide-posts to help you find your own path. When you begin to pressure yourself to live a certain way because Buddhist values say so, you lose sight of the true meaning of Buddhism: strike out on your own and find your own way of existing in perfect harmony with what is around you. If, for instance, we lived in an ideal world according to Buddhist values (instead of capitalist values), then you would of course be able to honour all those principles put forth by Buddhism. Unfortunately, we do not live in an ideal world. The answer then lies in finding a balance between who you are and what your surroundings are.

    2. The way to accomplish #1 is to pursue a life of self-overcoming, to focus not on others but yourself, to address not external variables such as what other companies are doing but on internal variables such as what you can do best. This shift in mind-state, first, takes much unnecessary pressure off your shoulders and, second, allows you to excel at every facet of your life: personal, spiritual, financial, and so on. This is so because your only goal is to be slightly better today, in however trivial a way, than you were yesterday. Do not worry about the pace of modern day business or about others. Keep your focus within, not without. Be the best person you can be and the rest will take care of itself. This is a natural law of the universe.

    May the One-Force be with you.

    I am, sir,
    Sincerely yours,

    Dain Supero

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