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Dan

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 19 total)
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  • #355392
    Dan
    Participant

    I really don’t want to mention them, but I have a therapist and is on medication and all that. For the longest time, my dad didn’t want me on meds.

    #355364
    Dan
    Participant

    I’m trying to figure out why I stayed for as long as I did. I thought maybe I felt lonely or something, but I don’t have an answer really…

    #355362
    Dan
    Participant

    He didn’t believe it was real or that bad or whatever. He wasn’t supportive.

    #355360
    Dan
    Participant

    He canceled his lease with his roommates and his roommates weren’t happy with him moving out so he burned some bridges there. He can’t move in with his parents because of his abusive brother. I fucked him up big time…
    <p style=”text-align: left;”>My mother was just never there and my dad didn’t understand my mental illness.</p>

    #355300
    Dan
    Participant

    Ok so here’s the problem… my boyfriend would have no where to go if I broke up with him… he’s basically living with me now after I gave him the ok to multiple times… this is all my fault… I made this situation so much worse for him but I don’t know, I just thought maybe I had some relationship anxiety and I needed to ignore or fight it…

    #355284
    Dan
    Participant

    Sorry about all of this. My feelings are just confusing me.

    #355282
    Dan
    Participant

    And well… he moved in actually… and I was excited. I was happy about him moving in and the thought still excites me. If I didn’t like him, I wouldn’t have been happy about him moving in right? But I don’t know anymore… maybe I really am kidding myself.

    #355280
    Dan
    Participant

    I’m sorry, I’m just confused because what I want to do now doesn’t seem to align with what I have been doing in the relationship…

    #355278
    Dan
    Participant

    If I really didn’t like him though, wouldn’t I not have that inner voice telling me that I love him? Or have I been lying to myself? I couldn’t sworn I felt the sparks too at times… but maybe I’m just kidding myself?

    #355274
    Dan
    Participant

    But I kinda don’t know why I want to break up with him… I think it’s because of fear but… does it matter why?

    #355258
    Dan
    Participant

    Thank you. I’m sorry about what has happened to you though… I hope you can come at peace with your past…

     

     

    The first thing that I think about though… isn’t that how I truly feel? Like sometimes the first thing I want to do is break up and tell him I don’t like him. It’s the first thing that comes to mind whenever I ask relationship questions. So I should go with that right? It doesn’t really explain any other feelings I’ve been experiencing though, like how I think the relationship is the beat ever. nd then this morning I was thinking about breaking up and i was like hes the one for me?

    #355110
    Dan
    Participant

    Talking with him makes me sad now but… I got to get a grip on my anxiety I guess.

    #355066
    Dan
    Participant

    I see… yeah, I was talking with my grandmother and I did say that if I break up with him I’ll probably actually regret it later down the line…

    It all makes sense now.

     

    #355038
    Dan
    Participant

    I guess your right. But I also remember asking myself “why do I love my boyfriend” and I responded that I didn’t. But then again, the inner voice and all that so…. hm… maybe my anxiety is really clouding my judgement or something… It seems like the more I push him away, the closer I want to be, and the closer I want to be, the more I want to push away. It’s all very confusing… but I guess I can see how past relationships that affect how I think now…

    #355000
    Dan
    Participant

    And my dad wasn’t emotionally available, but like, I thought I was over what my parents have done? I don’t really think about my mom anymore and my dad is better now.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 19 total)