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I think you are on the right path of not suffering in silence. That’s an important step. I’m not a medical professional – but I would assume there’s all conflicting reports out there of what does/doesn’t cause cancer cells to flare up. We all have cancer cells. That I believe. And we just don’t know when they’ll become active. I would think a male, or even female pastor would be a great subject matter expert who could help get you through this as well!
Your comment about “I caused this cancer” also made me reflect on my past 2 yrs of miscarriages. One can not completely get over the feeling of guilt that, “it’s something that I did wrong that caused this.” One of the ways that I learned to cope was to educate myself on this subject. I read lots of blogs, YouTube documentaries of other women miscarrying and also visited with many women who experienced multiple miscarriages. The phrase that was actually the best for me to hear was, “it’s ok to miscarry” in your situation, it may be, “it’s ok to get cancer.” It’s hard to say this statement! Because we want to be angry and yell, “no it’s not ok!” But, somehow, I eventually started believing the words, accepting them, and myself. I stopped being the victim. “It’s ok to have bad things happen, here’s my strategic plan of how I am going to cope and fix it to the best of my ability” I do believe that people are put in place in our lives. Like the old saying, “for a reason, a season, and a lifetime.” The people that I kept meeting and visiting with I believe now were put there for that reason. To help me cope and understand. I didn’t realize it at the time when it was happening, but I do believe a power bigger than me did that!!! Reflect back on your past for those type of people that may have helped too
I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. I know from personal experience anxiety can lead down a very unhealthy path and really do a number on your health. One of the best ways to cope with anxiety for me was getting a dog. Adopted an older one, 4 yrs old, and he did so much for my health! Forced me to go on walks And get out there! Self love came along the way as well getting more into faith. Having routines and a church also helped my anxiety.
Thank you so much for sharing the message of self love. It is exactly what I needed to be reminded of and see today. I think what has helped me most with self love, is living a faith filled life. Believing in a power bigger than me is humbling, yet empowering. The self love happened naturally after that. Wishing you will find it too!