Hi Trevor,

First of all,I really liked to read your post because I think in the same way. I’m in a relationship and we both want to make it last, even we don’t know what is going to happen in the future. So far, I’ve had two serious relationships and this is the third one. I always wanted a relationship that lasted a lifetime but now I know that it’s impossible because everything can change. You can change, the person you love can change.

When I don’t have a boyfriend, I felt really alone. It came to a point that I wasn’t prepared to love again. So I decided to take a chance on a relationship where I don’t have any worries and I just let go and have some fun. That’s what I thought was going to happen but I felt even worse about myself. But that is my conclusion about me, I’m not a person in that kind of relationships because I can’t do it. I have to feel a real connection with this person and nobody else matters.

Some people can have fun with multiple persons just for pleasure and maybe never want a relationship. But some can later want a serious relationship, that is perfectly normal. We have to try both sides to understand what we really want.

All I can say is that you will find someone that really loves you. And that person will only want to be with you. Believe me, when you really love someone, whatever happened in the past, doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is that you find your soulmate. Just be patient and let things happen.

Don’t worry. You’re not alone. I feel the same way, even that I know that my boyfriend loves me and I love him. The problem is when you love someone, that person can really hurt you and you feel vulnerable. All you need is to trust and do your best. If that person really loves you, will be there for you. If don’t, life goes on. No matter what happens, you need to feel that you’re unique and you will be fine!

Hi, i’m portuguese too so i can try to help you 🙂

A tua história é semelhante à minha. Tenho 21 e toda a minha vida nunca senti aceite. Da minha adolescência também não tenho bons momentos ou poucos tenho. As minhas amizades tornaram-se inimizades ou simplesmente desapareçam. Hoje sou uma desconhecida, não aproximo facilmente de ninguém porque não confio. Também sou bastante tímida, introvertida, sofro de ansiedade por isso não comunico facilmente. Tudo isto foi-se acumulando e hoje não sei quem eu sou. Acho que a solução passa por reconhecer o que está errado e mudar. Sejam pensamentos, medos, seja o que for. É o primeiro passo mais importante.
Começa por observar o que se passa ao teu redor, analisa os teus pensamentos e ignora-os ou contraria dizendo para ti mesma: não, isto não é verdade. Eu mereço o melhor. Conhece-te a ti mesma, apoia-te nas pessoas que realmente gostam de ti pelo que és. Dedica bastante tempo a estar apenas contigo mesma como meditação, faz o que mais gostares. Esquece o que aconteceu antes, vive a partir de agora, tenho a certeza que ainda poderás ser feliz e que a vida te irá sorrir. Irás encontrar uma pessoa que realmente te ama de verdade. A mim aconteceu e demorou muito tempo. Enquanto isso não acontece, pensa existe uma razão para isso, apenas ainda não é a altura certa. Cuida de ti, se grata por estares aqui, pelo bom que tens na vida que de certeza tens, as pequenas coisas fazem toda a diferença. Lembra-te que não estás sozinha e ainda tens muito para dar. Segue em frente, agora só virão vitórias. Depois de tanta dificuldades, só te podes levantar e continuar. Acredito que irás vencer.

Espero que tenha ajudado 🙂

Dear Clint,
i’m in similar situation and all i can say is that insecurity is only related to how do you feel about you.
When you see her talking with other boys, maybe you feel you’re not good enough or so interesting and funny compared to her friends.
Maybe what affects you is the idea that she’s kind to other guys too.
First of all, talk to her about how you feel. Than, when you start feel that way, try to understand the real reasons why do you feel that way.
Maybe your jealous is only fear or insecurity of losing her. Remember, a relationship is about two individuals that trust and love each other. I hope that I have helped in some way! (Sorry about the english, it’s not my native language)

Best Regards,
Di