Forum Replies Created
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Hi Anita,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply. Sometimes it’s nice to see another perspective. It means a lot!
You are right about his parents. They do rely on him, a lot. Always had always will. I once made a comment (months ago) about the fact I only heard them banging the door when they needed something from him, not to ask how he was doing. He was always a bit withdrawn to go outside his room ( to pee for example) because when they see him they always ask for something. ( fixing this, pick up that, help here do that.. Or asking for money, which they do a lot since he earns a lot) and I iasked if they ever say thank you. His answer was: no and that its normal since it their roof. When his brother in law died, his mom asked for 3500 euro ( +/- 4000 us dollars) for funeral. He gave it.. Just to find out later that only 800 euro ( 1100 us dollars) went to the funeral. I joked about it when they ordered Chinese and offered him some too.. And said, you might as well eat some of it since you paid for it. xD I just feel like they take advantage of his kind nature and he feels obligated to do whatever they ask.
He was in a relationship for 8 years with a girl, which he broke up with several times because he wasn’t in love / loved her the right way. But his mom adored her, so she pushed him back into that relationship every time. I don’t want to bad mouth anybody by writing this, because his mom is a kind soul. Super sensitive too. Yesterday I felt a bit heartbroken for him. Since his dad treated him like a 12 year old boy who wasn’t allowed to come over. He had to stay there.. And for what.. To stay in his room.. Saying new year wishes in between to his parents and feeling miserable. He might didn’t show or said so, since he always hide behind humor, but I knew he was. Knowing he should have been here with me if all didn’t happen. Nobody should be alone on new years eve. He texted me exactly at 00:00 wishing me a happy new year and a happy birthday. He did not forget!
What I am trying to say here is, I’d probably wouldnt open my mouth and say something.. Because I respect him and the ones he loves. I would be able to accept that family comes first. I, myself, come from a broken home and I was raised in Foster care from the age of 2 before I got my own “space” at the age of 17. So I don’t know how it’s like to have family but I do know what the importance is to have it in your life. And that’s why I am willing to step back when things get rough over there.
I want to say thank you again. For beigg honest not sugarcoating things. I appreciate it. I hope you had a wonderful new years eve and that you have spend it with the ppl you love. May 2020 be a blessing!
X
Hi valora,
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. That means a lot! I know you are right and I shouldn’t break ties with him. And I feel like a horrible person for feeling this upset when it’s his mom that is severally ill.. And he is the one who has to endure all the things that are going on over there, its not fair on him to have my tears next to it.
That’s why I am torn between keeping contact and cutting ties so he can devote his time on his family. I know in my heart that the last one would be best for him. But it’s that same heart that doesn’t want to let go of him. I just wished he lived nearby so the whole situation which is going on between us wasn’t even a situation. And yet, I am here.. Sobbing, while he has every right to break down. Its just a break up, his mom is battling for her life, I have no right to be so upset. I’ll get over it…. Some day. I will take your advise to heart. Thank you very much! I hope you had a brilliant new year with all the ppl you love. May 2020 be kind to you!
X
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