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ElaParticipant
Hi Ritu!
I want to say that i feel very sorry for what happened to you. I don’t want to give my opinion because right now i may be a little subjective because of my recently break up and i’m also sure that your problems and feelings are bigger and more serious than mine, but i understood that you want to move on. Well, for me, the best results i had when i started to share my story, although i have the tendency to cry everytime. But that’s ok. It’s better to let your emotions speak when you feel overwhelmed ’cause i can assure you: the next time you will speak again, you won’t feel the same amount of sadness anymore. DON’T hide your feelings, don’t try to “postpone” them, because they will grow bigger and bigger if you pretend it’s not appropiate to deal with them now. Also, it really helpde me to read a lot of quotes and things on this site. Read about your problems, read how to deal with them, how to be happy by yourself, there are many things you can learn.
Also, i downloaded an app which gives me an hourly notification about forgiving myself and those who hurt me, about moving on and not looking back to what others did to me because i have so many opportunities ahead which i might miss if i keep going back to the past. i strongly recommend this kind of self-encouragement if you think you’re not strong enough to remind yourself some things. i also started to just spend time with myself again and NEVER shrink my wishes because they may not be appropiate. No. I do whatever crosses my mind to just feel better. I even started doing yoga three or four times a week because it relaxes the entire body, therefore the mind follows it.
I’m sorry if i have spoken too much about my own experiences, but i really hope you will find some help there, maybe follow whatever catches your eye to feel better. please try to rebuild your happiness after this trauma, don’t pity yourself, don’t let yourself fall in some dark and sad place because it’s really easy to slide on this path, but it’s one of the hardest road to come back from that place. only you know better what makes you happy, so try to listen to your heart as much as possible. And try to forgive: firstly- for yourself, because you deserve peace and tranquility, secondly- for those who hurt you because they can’t undo what they did. find the power to change your thoughts about this experience, you can’t wait for others to change to make you feel better. avoid feelings like anger, disappointment, regret. they will keep you from making progress. and never think about revenge: worst thing ever. let them be happy if this is how their fate should be. who says you can’t be happy as well, even without him? i understand it doesn’t feel fair to you, but i’m sure you have greater things in your future then worry or think how often they smile, how happy they are or other things. they just are how they are and you have no power, so you shoulnd’t think about them in any way. instead, there are a lot of things which you can control in your mind to feel better, so start from there and work your way to the very top of joy.
Move on and rediscover yourself!
please, get better.ElaParticipantHi Annie,
I’m really thankful for your beautiful words, it means a lot to see that there are other people who managed to reach happiness after some emotional injuries. Thank you a lot for offering me encouraging words, it feels like all of these replies were baby steps to a better state of mind, to a better me… And i really want to congratulate you for your growth, for your beautiful and happy heart you have now after you had to stitch it up, as painful as it was. God… thank you very much. have a wonderful new year!ElaParticipantThaaank you a loot! wish you the best, have a great new year! 🙂
ElaParticipantHi, Anita!
Thank you a lot for your answer, your words really touched my heart and i feel encouraged to move on easily. As for the part about emotional wounds from his childhood- i can assure you there are NONE. he had a perfect childhood, he is the only child his parents have and i know very good that he didn’t miss a thing. Both parents loved and love him very much, he grew up with his cousins near him. i don’t know where where his obssesions come from, but definitely not from some emotional trauma.ElaParticipantHey, Ilana
I know it may be a little late, but i want to tell you from my own experience that when you see he treats you badly, just run and don’t look back no matter what. cut the contact with him, block his contact, whatever it makes you move on, because if you don’t, the pain will just grow and it’s for your own good to stop everything with him. even though you may feel bad, this is because YOU are a serious girl and have a good soul, not because he deserves it. the best choice you made was when you broke up with him at the right moment. keep going that way and don’t look back, especially if you started to move on. just a few more steps and you can make it.
keep being strong!ElaParticipantDear Glenda,
I really appreciate your reminder. It’s good to question yourself sometime and see if you’re on the path of becoming the best version of yourself. and i also agree that pride may be the worst of them all. i just wanted to wish you a better year and i hope this time, next year, you will be feeling the difference in you and in other people.ElaParticipantThank you very much for what you said. i’m trying really hard to let the past be in the past. i’ll think about what you said a lot ’cause i’m sure it will help. have a good new year both of you!
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