Ellsworth Davis

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  • in reply to: So much to learn. #117629
    Ellsworth Davis

    Dear Eliza,
    You are 21 and have plenty of time. Your spirituality will deepen and develop with each passing year. At age 21 you can only know what you know, feel what you feel, have the insight and knowledge to spiritual development that is allowed to develop in 21 years. It sounds to be more than most however you have many miles to travel. Men your age are typically looking to party, drink and “hook-up.” In my day it was sex, drugs and rock n’ roll – more or less the same we just didn’t do it with cell phones.
    My suggestion: Start to go places where your sincere interests are, like church, mediation center, join groups that are spiritual in nature, or go the gym, soccer field, the library …. where you might meet a real guy who is not checking his Tinder App ever 20 minutes.
    Expectations are the road to ruin, in my opinion. You may miss the love of your LIFE because you are hung up on expectations and your imaginary check list of what he needs to be or have.
    If you want true connection with a man you have to be OPEN to LOVE and that love might be with a PhD or a carpenter or fellow ordinary student you have over-looked for superficial reasons. Open your heart to love and love will find you. Throw your expectations away and find happiness. Happiness will always last longer than the fact that he is “ambitious” and has limited time to spend with you – for example.
    You sound like a nice girl. Good things will come your way …… don’t be in such a hurry.
    And YES – Real Love does exist.
    The years have taught me this fact.

    in reply to: Having trouble getting over this breakup #117599
    Ellsworth Davis

    How old are you?
    Why does your family object to you dating, having a boyfriend?
    Why does his family object to him dating, having a girlfriend?
    You both sound young but you are both University students, correct?

    The way he is treating you now is not right. Think twice about calling him your One True Love.
    Maybe he was just your Love 101 class. ??
    Love is complex and we can get stuck in it and stuck in obsessing on the object of our love.

    As for your state of mind, you are seeking all your value, self worth, pleasure, your moods, your thinking, on an external source – your ex-boyfriend who sounds like a boy to me. If he loved you he would tell his dad enough and find time to date you. The way he is behaving now in your social circle is unacceptable. You need someone More Mature. Don’t get caught up in the emotions of a first Love and bravely move on and discover the world waiting for you filled with love. But you must center yourself and go out and project yourself as centered and willing to love again. The centered part you cannot fake, that you must find within yourself and reshape your own internal emotional landscape.

    Sometimes we think we will never get over these romances. YOUWILL. Be brave and move along the down the path of your life and find out what is waiting for you around the next bend.

    in reply to: Loving 3 Women #117582
    Ellsworth Davis

    Thank you – manbudda – I feel totally blind in this situation. You have given me some sign posts. And some serious thoughts to ponder and questions to reflect upon.

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