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    I know exactly what you mean Tamara 🙂 And as soon as I read your post I got that heart-pounding feeling. It’s an incredible feeling just to be alive, just to BE. To be able to do the simplest of things or having the basic things that we forget to be grateful for like being able to breath, have vision (even though mine is pretty terrible haha), being able to walk, to smell, to feel, to love! I was never this way, in fact quite the opposite. I went through some tough times that led to depression and I despised literally everything including myself until one day its like a lightbulb went off and I realized I could either drown in my self inflicting misery or LIVE! Slowly things fell into place and boom here I am, I’m definitely in a better place and boy is it refreshing =) Like you I have my share of lifes ups and downs but its all about our perspective and I try to maintain a positive one.
    I don’t get to express it much either so when I see others that feel the same it puts a huge smile on my face and makes me full <3
    I am ABSOLUTELY in love with life and all its glory! =)
    Thanks for sharing Tamara
    Sending lots of Love and Light your way on this beautiful life journey!



    Hello VK,

    I am happy that you looked past the fact that this was your “first love” and made the decision to remove yourself from that situation 🙂
    I too was also in a very similar relationship (both aggressive and controlling) until I realized that this relationship was no good for me. He had the choice to change for the better and time and time again he chose not to, so we parted ways. Almost 2 years later I can say that was the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. Was it hard? Yes! 5 years of my life had been invested into someone whom I had also shared very beautiful moments with but at the same time the bad outweighed the good. Was I sad? Absolutely, but this pushed me to find myself and most of all LOVE myself. When you reach that point you realize you don’t need to depend on someone else to give you love when its right inside of you. I took that time to explore who I am and found peace, forgiveness and self love. I was bitter when we first broke up, I was upset that I had “wasted” 5 yrs of my life but during my “ME” time I was able to look past the negative parts of our relationship and see that yes there were good moments between us yes I learned so much but we just weren’t compatible and that’s okay! Just because we love someone doesn’t mean they’re going to be in our life forever. Maybe they walked into to your life at that time for you to learn something from them or even about yourself. You may not even realize it until they are gone but they were there for a reason.
    So in all of this, Yes I am happy that my first love was just that because of what I gained after that, a new found love for myself and life itself. My outlook on everything is so much more positive because I don’t have an extremely negative person influencing my life.
    When you truly find peace within and love for yourself things begin to fall into place and when you forgive him you will also free yourself from the past<<< that is one of the best feelings I’ve ever experienced.
    Best of luck to you on your journey, it will be bumpy at times but ALWAYS beautiful and rewarding.

    Sending Love and Light your way,

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