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FancyFondue

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • #294957
    FancyFondue
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    He did try to avoid the nursing home for her as best he could. He hired someone to come in during the day to help him for about a year. She got to the point where she didn’t know who he was, kept asking where her husband was, and was getting very upset daily that her husband left her with a stranger. It took such an emotional toll on her, and her, that the doctor recommended the nursing home for both their benefits. He level of decline really slowed after she went was admitted.

    By the way, I’m doing better emotionally. I’m trying to just focus on what I can do today and not stress about tomorrow. I’m also getting better about letting him know that I can’t do everything for him and we are going to have to consider options. I’m hoping if I’m consistent with it he will eventually stop fighting.

    Also, I’ve decided that my home has a hex on it and I’ve just got to roll with it! One side of my fence fell down this past weekend and in trying to clean up all the dead grass and weeds by burning, I accidentally set the trash can on fire! There were so many ashes that I had to dump the fire pit and thought it was cool enough.  I’m trying my best to laugh about it – but nervous about another weekend coming up!

    #294005
    FancyFondue
    Participant

    Yes, downsizing is definitely something I’ll need to think about.

    My dad is stubborn, for sure. He doesn’t want to be a burden, and I don’t think he fully gets the stress his care puts on me. My mom lived in a nursing home about 3 years before she passed from Alzheimer’s and even then he said he didn’t want to be put away in a home like that – even though he knew that was the only decision to make sure mom was taken care of. He’s at the just right spot where he needs help but is aware enough to know if I tried to get outside help.  I keep telling myself that one day I will wish he were still here for me to fuss about. Some days that works!

    Thanks Anita~

    #293999
    FancyFondue
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I have thought about that, downsizing that is. I have 2 dogs, a cat and the 4 of us spend hours in the backyard. It really is my escape, which is why what’s going on is so tough for me.

    I have to say, just “talking” about my thoughts and feelings has made me feel better. I do have friends, and I have talked to them some, but I don’t think I fully tell them everything. So glad I found this site.

    #293847
    FancyFondue
    Participant

    Hi Mark,

    I didn’t get specific because when I started listing out everything, I felt like I was whining. I saved for years to have a deck built in the backyard and in March I hired someone to clean and re-stain it. He did such a bad job that he had to unscrew everything and flip the boards to start over. It still looks bad. It was my happy place after work and now I don’t want to even look at it.  The backyard is so full of weeds I don’t know what to do. I used a spray that was recommended to me and I failed to read the label – it was a weed and grass killer so everything died. Now nothing but weeds are growing and all the dead grass and weeds formed this think layer that is so bad that when we had a few days of rain the water didn’t drain and started flooding. Yesterday I found what I think are termites on the some the boards on the deck. It’s treated wood so didn’t think that could happen, but ok. Work has been taking a big downturn. I’ve been blessed in the past to not really stress over being able to pay bills, but now I’m worried about the next couple of months if things don’t pick up. I took a demotion because of the time I need to care for my dad. He is very stubborn and refuses to even think about either getting someone in during the day to help him with grocery shopping/cooking/cleaning, much less moving into a retirement community.  It just feels like every aspect of my life is falling apart and needs my full and complete attention to fix.

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)