dear anita

i think that would work .

like in therapy sessions in which you live your trauma once more and express your real feeling or relive it and you are hopefully replaying it in your mind again

Dear tee

thank you for your reply . i totally agree with you “Forgiveness is free, trust is earned. i`m willing for forgive people for my own  freedom but trusting them???in most cases , NO

its already hard for me to trust people . even to people who didnt wrong me in the past . and unfortunately i did more than once trusting someone again who i shouldnt and i hate to admit it but it was out of desperation. well im stronger now and i prefer to be alone than in bad company  

i have a question for you , how many of people who you needed to forgive for any reason are still in your life ?for me most of them gone for good .

I actually don`t believe people who were deceitful would stay once you saw through them .

and i will definitely watch the video u recommend, thank you xo

Dear anita

 a more important question is.. do we fall with them? i believe i did and it was hard at first but after a while that was liberating , i mean i found out that life is cruel .for some people can be easier and for some  is terribly cruel and im no exception . before that i felt that thing shouldnt happened to ME that was normal for somebody else , obviously i felt superior and that made everything much harder but when i realized im not special that made it  much more tolerable  , maybe its not related to our discussion but it was my experience , so i can say yes i fell with my parents from pedestal back then but i wasnt crushed actually im happier now   Equal in human value is a good place to be in.

by villain i meant bad people who do bad things on purpose , i sometimes think my dad was hurting me on purpose , but i admit he had grown up alot after my moms death , before that he was like a little boy with no responsibilities and was so angry that my mom was not able to support him (mentally and emotionally ) any more but he did take care of my mom till the end and he did his best to make everything go on as normal as possible . actually now that im writing about my father i realized how he actually changed and my mom`s death shook him really hard (i had never thought about it

and by forgiving and trusting , i mean with people who are in your life who hurt you in the past , but still are in your life and you want them to be in your life once you forgive them can you trust them again ? i think trust some step further than forgiveness

i know that`s a general question it really depends on that person and what happened in the past , for example people who repeatedly  try to put you down or cross your boundaries can be forgiven but not trusted

but people who did one mistake and try to somehow make up for that . do u trust them again ?

Dear Anita

absolutely , we should continue  the discussion ,

i had somehow different experiences with people but it was as dysfunctional . i put people on pedestal , i valued them more than myself they noticed it and somehow use it against me time to time not following through their promises or try to deceive me thinking i wouldnt dare to cut the ties with them cause they were so important and after a while i got sick with them , sometimes i avoided them completely and sometimes if the situation was so frustrating i exploded and told them how i really feel about them , in the same time my inner thoughts were confirmed , PEOPLE ARE OUT TO GET ME , NOBODY IS TRUSTWORTHY and that made me even more isolated . recently i realised almost all of people surrounding me have some similar characteristics which i mentioned in my first post , i.e lack of motivation , laziness , etc and i compare the people who helped me in very hard situation , mostly a acquaitance or somebody i barely know who were very helpful and kind by nature , and i realized not all people are bad but im surrounded  by them all my life ,maybe they are not bad really but the circumstances mad them to be , anyway we should avoid them .

i`m glad that you progress in your journey of trusting people, hopefully i get there too . i would be so happy to hear from you again in further posts , take care .