Hey Lucy,

It’s fantastic that you believe in self love, confidence and passion. It’s mature to understand that a relationship should not fill a void. 🙂 Consider this. To love yourself means that you can love ALL of yourself. Love and accept that you may feel insecure at times, that you may “act strange” at times. Consider that its absolutely fine to want to be physically desired. Love that part of yourself as well. Accept this part of yourself. You may not currently have a guy that makes you feel desired, but its just fine to have part of you want that. This does not necessarily mean you are narcissistic. But there is simply a part of you that feels that way from time to time. Consider loving and accepting this part of you just the way you are. When I look at my gal, I see the most beautiful woman alive. She is perfect and I desire nothing else. Yes she gets acne too:) But I see absolute beauty. I see beauty because I love her and I accept her even with her “flaws”. Until you find the right guy, consider loving yourself in this way. Consider that you are one of a kind, that you are a masterpiece and that you are perfect just as you are. Love your beauty, your brains, your “flaws”. Love it all. If you love yourself this way, others will follow. 🙂

Peace to you.

Michael,

I read this post a few days ago and you’ve been on my mind since. I’m so sorry for your loss and your sense of isolation. I agree with Jasmine-3, that you are still grieving and it is difficult to reach out. Sometimes our wounds are so deep that we blind ourselves from the pain yet it still exists. And now you are in a school situation where you don’t have contact with people who share your life experience. Not the ideal position to be in but it is what it is.

It’s good that you are reaching out. I think it would be good for you to be around people who can empathize with you, understand you and support you. This is how we heal, by feeling accepted, loved and understood. Perhaps a local group for folks who have lost their spouse and forums like this. It’s healthy.

You are not alone. Heal well and know that nothing is permanent.

I know how you feel. I once spoke in front of a large group of my piers and totally blew it. It felt embarrassing. I’ve since taken public speaking courses and I’m comfortable on the stage. You were nervous in that moment but you had the courage to ask anyway. You should be proud of yourself and congratulate yourself for having the courage to ask an honest question when nobody else would, and most of all, forgive & love yourself. Many people find it difficult to speak in public or at times loose their train of thought and get nervous. Its fine. You are human. Public speaking is the worst fear for most people. If it really bothers you, decide to learn to speak in public joining a public speaking club or take a class. It’s the best feeling to take a “negative” experience like this and build it into a strength.