Suggestion have you written a pros and cons list, I find it is the best way to at least step out of my mind into reality.
As for breaking the pattern you are better to change the pattern by asking the simple question of what am I going to gain compared to what have I to loss.
At the end of the day even if you think it is a mistake afterwards you will have learnt something new. Remember the is mistake, a miss take so you can change it in some way.
A friend once told me the enjoy the tapestry of life and just go learn something new each day just by the choices you make.
Cathy it is wonderful that you are his best friend. I hope for both of you that he can find a way to let go of the past, you say he is mourning the betrayal and waste of time, but he may also be mourning all the hope, possibilities and love he put in to that relationship. Lets be honest after what has just happened to him, he probably cannot see a future for himself never mind with someone.
I would also say MAYBE at this moment in time he is so afraid of hurting you and losing you completely, a friendship is all he can offer, At least he gets to see you being happy.
So all I can say is be a friend, we all needs friends, just do not plan a future until he can see the possibility of a future.
As for your future and dating other people a good friend once said to me “enjoy the tapestry of life”, go dating enjoy the meeting people you always learn something new.
Love and light
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