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Niki

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    Niki
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    Matty, Anita,

    Thanks for your input and suggestions. 🙂

    After reading my original post and your responses, I realized I kind of came off like an ass-hat. lol.

    Anita, working on radical acceptance is something I’ve been trying to work on for years. I think that’s part of why we have lasted this long. We are such different people and accepting her for where she is in life.. her fears, faults and beliefs that are just so different than my own, has been a challenge, but I know that I’ve grown from it. At what point do you decide that radical acceptance isn’t the answer because where you are headed just isn’t where you want to go?

    Matty, my comment about not doing something I will regret later isn’t necessarily about not finding love in the future, it’s about losing the love that I have. While we have lots of issues, she is still one of the most caring and loving people I have ever known. You did bring something up that I didn’t mention though.. that feeling, that heart flutter you speak of.. I haven’t had that for a long time with her. We very much live as caring roommates. She is not very affectionate and half the time when I try to hold her hand or kiss her, she acts like I’m a nuisance rather than her partner. We’ve talked about it and she is aware of my frustration with this. She admits it’s a problem and has tried to be better about it, but it doesn’t change much..

    Ugh. I feel like I’m just whining now.

    Thank you again for your input. You definitely gave me some things to think about.

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