Hi Anita I appreciate your answer!
The world is so small I didn’t think you’d guys even know where Morocco is ? ( it happened to me before)

And to answer what you said, you’re right in saying that I got to learn to differentiate between the situations but that’s gonna take some work hahah. And I also think that sometimes I am aware that there is no dangerous situation but my anxiety is a coping mechanism I think, moving to another country, not making friends etc my mind didn’t know how to react, all of it was knew to me so I cope with anxiety , so it seems like I have control over what’s happening. That’s just my interpretation, I remember when I was thinking I had cancer, I would try and calm myself down, saying it wasn’t true and that I’ve already seen multiple doctors to prove it, but when my mind is in a fight or flight mode and I’m super anxious I get all these thoughts about how I’m really sick and I lose all common sense. It’s exactly what’s happening to me now about my relationship , I used to be so confident about it and I would just know; I’m normally the one that gives advice about relationships and all my friends come to me asking for it but since the thoughts started giving me anxiety and I started doubting everything , bam , the common sense is gone again.

i appreciate your advice, but I don’t think I want to ask him that, I still want to be his girlfriend that’s the thing, I love him , even thought I doubt it every second of the day , and we live together and I like it, I just don’t know how it would be if I ask him to just be friends for the time being, I don’t want to , plus I think it would just running away from the anxiety.

see I don’t know I don’t understand my thoughts and feelings either, but it’s not that easy, sometimes I have to google and I have to ask others I feel a big urge to do it otherwise the anxiety is too much to handle, I know it would seem frustrating to you but you just wouldn’t know if you don’t experience it and I hope you never will! And I’m not just “joining” the rOCD crowd it’s the only thing that makes sense to me, all the symptoms and everything about it, that’s what I’m experiencing I think, unless there’s another clear explanation I just don’t know ??‍♀️

but I hope I get better with time , I’m trying to , thank you so much for your time and answers I appreciate it

Thank you Anita it’s so beautifully said and I agree! Growing up I was always in a fight or flight mode I guess and that fear, that anxiety I got from it is still there, I know it I’ve always been anxious, and last year I remember my health anxiety feeling so so real but now almost a year later I realize ( partially) that it was all in my head that my anxiety had to hold onto something, but now I wish I was still struggling with it! I’ve been a wreck since the first time having doubts about my boyfriend, I don’t know what I should or shouldn’t do, my feelings aren’t there because I’m so so anxious I’m not letting myself feel anything; but I can’t help being triggered by every little thing he does, his face or actions sometimes (yes it has evolved) how I act and how I feel I’m always monitoring my feelings , other couples breaking up trigger me so much, videos and posts about « true love » make me want to die! And I don’t know what to do I’ve seen psychiatrists who didn’t give a damn about what I was telling them and I can’t help Google and ask people! I don’t want to lose my boyfriend he’s all I have but am I going to have to? What should I do ? How should I deal with this? It’s so hard and honestly I’ve never ever felt so low and depressed and just wanting to die and I don’t know where to seek help

thank you so much Anita for your wisdom and insight , means so much to me ❤️