Hi there everyone!

I’ve gone through the same unfortunate incident about a year ago. I was in love for the first time and I fell in love with him more and more every day. We were so good together for 2 years but my relationship was kept a  secret from my family ( if it’s questionable to understand for u why, I’m a South Asian girl so most of the times families don’t support our affairs ) and I was in fear of getting caught to my fam because I was scared that they might try to separate me from my bf. One day unfortunately they got to knew about us and I had an argument with my family. They threatened me to break up with him ( not for any fair reasons at all ) and I cried a lot and I was so mad at them. I went to sleep that night after calling my bf and I was so much in love with him. And I woke up next day feeling such an emptiness in my mind my brain. I couldn’t even feel anything for my bf. I cried a lot everyday and I’ve been feeling numb toward him for almost an year now but breaking up with him seems so hard for me because well he’s still a big part of my life. I still wanna know what happened to me and I wanna figure it out and if there’s anyway I can recover what happened, I would. I’m still trying cause he’s all worth it and we’re worth it. But some nights I still feel that I love him but then that feeling again gets vanished and I’m depressed. It feels like I’m on an emotional rollercoaster. Could someone reply to my text if there are still any of you whore reading this thread ? Thank you! God bless!