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September 22, 2015 at 1:35 am #83812
DavidParticipantHello Jng15,
Thank you for your message.
For me there are not enough words to describe true compassion, it’s too deep to describe it with words. The main idea I have now about compassion is that it’s about not harming others and not harming yourself. Helping others without getting harmed or sacrificed in the process. Fulfill yourself and discover your truth so you can find authentic peace and share it with the world around you.You can visit me whenever you want, I’ll be waiting.
Regards from Costa Rica;
Dave
September 16, 2015 at 11:19 am #83455DavidParticipantHello Anita, how are you?
Thank you for your kind words. The name leaf in the wind comes from my believes and it’s the best lesson I learned from my past, to flow with the movement of things but not allowing them to change who I am, so I can use every single thing to find a better place 🙂
July 26, 2015 at 4:48 pm #80523DavidParticipantThe idea of this life is not to be independent but interdependent. Growing together we obtain better results. Thank you for inspiring me Anita 🙂
Regards from Costa Rica,
Dave
July 24, 2015 at 9:49 pm #80409DavidParticipantDear Anita;
I’m glad to read your words, it’s very meaningful for me.
I always fall on that same mistake too. When I was younger I wasn’t ready or didn’t got enough resources to fulfill others needs so it made me felt sad many times, as you also experienced. It can make you feel empty or lacking of something, sometimes people even take advantage of that and manipulate you.
In time I learned to put myself first, that might sound selfish but I like to think it like this: you got to be as good to you as you want to be good to other people, in order to serve others in the world without getting hurt yourself or hurting other people. When your cup is full, what comes out of the cup is for others to take but what is inside the cup is mine. The more I grow, the more I can offer to the world.
I realized it a few days ago, reading the posts on another thread where I shared my uncle’s destructive behaviour. We can’t sacrifice our entire existence, joy and happiness just for the sake of pleasing somebody else. Compassion is about service and embrace the world as it is as Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche said.When you asked me to see what is inside the poison in my heart I understood that true compassion comes from the true heart, the one we always try to hide from others, the one who is so pure that no poison can destroy it, our true nature. What comes out from there is really pleasing not only for people but for yourself too, that’s a great kind of service and maybe the most authentic from my point of view.
We can use that inner core to bring back to life our heart, when the flower of compassion blooms on it, then we can really start to heal and make great changes in the world, isn’t that right? 🙂 .
Thank you Anita, for bringing me smiles and hope on my path again, regards
Dave
P.S. : if there are grammar mistakes (horrors) in my post please help me to fix them, I’m practicing my english and would be a great blessing for me to get it right. Thanks! 🙂
July 23, 2015 at 5:00 pm #80344DavidParticipantHi Anita,
For me that golden spark is something that we all have but we forget about it. I can clearly remember a moment at the age of 7 years when I said to myself: “I’m gonna be a good boy at the school”, it turned out to be a good man at this life time. I decided to walk around in the world without an armor and let my inner self to express itself, to discover the truth about me. I know that right now I can’t help other people as I want, since I’m going through a healing and acceptance process of my past. I want to find peace within myself to share it with everyone I can.
As I said in other post, I can feel that my purpose will be to serve, to help people to realize their full potential, to make people smile, to be simple and genuine. There are so many thoughts in my head right now that I can’t write how deep they are.Thanks for your guidance Anita;
Dave
July 23, 2015 at 3:25 pm #80339DavidParticipantHello,
Thank you for your kind words @ivan , I hope to realize what my purpose is, I once saw a quote, only 3 words were enough to make me cry and smile at the same time: “born to serve”. What do you think? 🙂
@anita , hello again 🙂 . I would like this story to mean that the reason ” I came back to life” is to share that little golden star with whoever I can. I think that is the most important thing for me, to make people shine, at the same time it helps me to shine too. Is that correct?Thank you again 🙂
Dave
July 23, 2015 at 1:58 pm #80334DavidParticipantHello everyone, thank you for replying my post 🙂
@Annie, you’re right. I’m always looking outside (people problems, pain or that sort of situation) to “use” compassion, never thought about internalizing the meaning of it to a deep level, trying to comprehend how much can I offer without draining myself as you said. Your post gave me a much more deeper sense of what compassion is. Thank you!
@msseekree, I apologize for my English, it’s pretty bad actually. My mother language is Spanish so it’s kinda difficult to make sentences using the correct words and grammar, please forgive me for that.
@anita , as always you help me to understand better my most inner issues. Since I was a child I lived in a very “toxic” enviroment. My mom tried to commit suicide more than 10 times, I always treated her body wounds, she also used drugs and consumed alcohol. My father left home when I was 2 years old, after that my mom lost everything (home, car, job and mental health). That left me as a 12 years old boy, living alone and working to pay my food. Right now I’m struggling with a very destructive behaviour uncle and my grandma who suffers from Alzheimer. I’m 20 years old now and I thought I forgave my parents and family for leaving me alone but there’s something inside my mind that tells me I can’t do it yet. The price for all that is to live alone and being a very lonely person. There are many more things to tell but I really don’t wanna bother you all with my entire story, those situations above are the most painful ones for me. Thank your for taking time to read it 🙂@Saiisha , actually you grasp it much more better than me. Thank you for helping me to understand Dilgo Rinpoche’s words in a more simple way. Many many thanks 🙂
Regards for Costa Rica
Dave
July 21, 2015 at 10:11 am #80175DavidParticipantHello!
Jo, I must say that your comment was a very accurate, it actually touched me. I think my boundary to him was to think over and over again about the situation, like if detachment and compassion were two different things.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, I’m really grateful.
Dave
July 17, 2015 at 5:34 pm #80024DavidParticipantHello again 🙂
Today I went to pay visit to my grandma, my uncle was there too (drunk as always). I put in practice what you told me LDR, Inky, Alex and Anita, the whole experience was different. I felt more comfortable and when he tried to talk I gave him a polite answer and went to the backyard to plant some hot chili seeds, my grandma loves planting stuff. For the first time I experienced some sort of freedom and separation from the current situation at the family house.
About my uncle’s harmful behaviour: I think the verbal offense is his “best weapon”, he often bully at me for being gay (it actually doesn’t hurt me) but when it comes to insult my mother or yell at my grandmother the situation becomes very tense and let’s say, toxic. He just wants to create the perfect moment to start a fight.
I wish I can continue to develop more this new capacity in me, thank you all for teaching me.
Regards;
Dave
July 16, 2015 at 1:15 pm #79961DavidParticipantHello everyone, thanks for replying this thread.
It’s very interesting to read about all your experiences with so many people in your life. My current situation is to deal with an alcoholic uncle, my grandma who suffers of Alzheimer and generally, a very broken family.
I think if someone asks me to put my feelings for them on words would be very difficult indeed, I’m concerned about my grandma since she was like a second mother for me but with my uncle it’s a very different story. My mom once told that since I was child I didn’t like him, always hide or ran when he went to visit her. When I grew up, I was forced to live on my grandma’s house, along with him. His wife renounced to their relationship since my uncle with his alcohol problems was turning aggresive on she and her daughter.
He began his cycle with me again, he drinks, he starts to yell at me telling some very hard stuff and three times tried to hit me.I found interesting that since I like the concept of compassion from Buddhism, but it’s like a boundary for me, I can’t help but feeling myself stuck with him on my “compassion”, I understand he had a very tough life and he does need help, but the times I tried to help him, he just explode and it always end badly. Does compassion/empathy for him can be expressed just by being polite, understanding his suffering but protecting myself from him by don’t letting him to get close to me (I must visit my grandmother daily)?. I’ve always been very bad at saying what I think, especially with him who gets angry when you tell him the truth (that’s why he tried to hit me before). I see a lot of self-pitty on him and I can understand that it’s his way to ask for “love” but I realized that I can’t help him.
What do you guys think?. Sharing this is helping me sooo much, I’m really grateful to you all.
Dave
April 20, 2015 at 11:15 am #75582DavidParticipantThank you all for your responses!
It’s kinda weird for me to start a new life with nothing but myself life and a new home with some space to plant trees, vegetables and live with some chickens (that’s my dream hehe). I know that sounds very unrealistic for todays world but I feel an urge for do it, I don’t want anything else, well, at least after a few years of saving money from my work I can afford it.
I’m leaving everything from my country, breaking boundaries with my family and even selling my little apartment. I’m very affraid but deep inside me I know that this is fate for me, I feel I must do it.
Bar, Inky and Michael, thank you for inspiring me and helping me. It’ll be great if we can share more words.
Waiting for a change,
Dave.
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