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    Hi anita,

    thank you so much for kind reply and here is my answer for your question.

    1. once you and your 5th sister move out, will your mother be the only adult in the home with your other sisters’ young children, and it’d be physically too difficult for her to physically take care of her grandchildren?

    =Nope, she will be with 1st daughter who currently doing her PHD. My 1st sister’s focus will fully on her PHD and her daughter[age 2]. My second sister’s daughter age is 4 years old. So her routine will be like this[if me and my 5th sister are not at home]. Most of the times she is the one need to fetch the 4 years old daughter from school, then need to bath her. After bath her need to give her something to eat. Then she need to cook for everyone, manage household chores. Then she need to feed her lunch, put her in sleep. So, yes, it will be physically demanding for her at age with her underlying medical issues.

    2.I am wondering, if you choose option 1, having your mother move away and with you and your 5th sister, who will take care of your nieces?

    =Their own mother and father.


    Hi Roberta,

    Thank you for your kind reply. Here is my answers for your questions.

    1.Please can I ask what makes you think that your mother will not cope/flourish if you are not there.

    =Her health [have HBP, Diabetes, severe backpain] and her age [60] need someone to take care/monitor her. So as a daughter i want to take care of her and give her the proper rest that she needed in this age eventhough she wont show any tiredness or fatigues.

    2. What are you specifically trying to protect your mother from? ie what do you perceive her burdens to be and has she informed you what she feels her burdens if any are?
    =Im not trying to protect my mother from anything, I just want give her some way or help to speak up for herself. She cannot say ‘NO’ to her children as she take it as a habit.So as im the third person seeing eveything she is undergoing, i speak in her place that give her better choices putting her health in priority. She also already tell and show me some signs [ she become so stress, cannot get enough sleep, need to cook variety of foods, tired, etc].


    Hi anita,

    Sorry that i didn’t notice your post yesterday and thank you so much for your reply. I really get many new informations regarding my issues. Thanks for all those illlegal informations about this matter. Thank you so much. For time being, we all have the same thoughts, We dont want involve our mother into anything that related to him. We just want her to be happy and live a peaceful life from this moment. So we plan to moved out from this place and start a new life with new people and surrounding. But we need to be prepare in all kind of matters and need to know all legal issues regarding properties and this issue. And about our mental health, there is a plan to meet with some professional. Meanwhile, we encourage each other to let their opinions or feeling share with each other. After all we only have each others in this life.

    So once again, i’m very thankful to you and others for making me feel comfortable and let me share my story in this platform. In future, If i stuck and don’t know where to start, sure i will come back here and read this all again. Thank you so so much.


    reply to samy,

    Thank you so much for courage and bold words.

    For the safety of my mother and my sisters, he have been no longer a member in our family and after that day, he moved out to somewhere else.

    For the confront matter, i stiil didn’t know whether im victim or not. The day i came know about all matter from least to the worst, i have been stayed in college. I become more furious, anger , hurt as i begin to came to know all stories from all of my sister. After knowing everything and come to home, i couldn’t face him. I avoided him at all cost but that one day i can’t. I bursted and almost went out to show all of my anger, dissapointment, hurt, betrayal towards him. I become so angry that it happen to all my sister and i couldn’t protect them . At the moment, my 2 sister n mother only at home. They block and say to not burst out now and i scream and fight with everyone to let me go. I almost get panic attack and my breathing become unstable. I become and feel that high level anger until i become that. But my mother said, , with no proof or victims with u n  confront him, it all will be wasted. The reason we didn’t confront and wait until all the victim come to home is because the least we can do for them now is a chance to confront him and end this suffer and pain. That’s why in the day of confront him, i remain clam to avoid or control anyone who accidently will cross their limits in questioning him. So i stayed beside and and not involve in all that confronting matter. If i also invlove like anyone, who will think properly to clam the situation if it get escalated. At least one person needed to stay not in the moment.

    Thank you so much for all your kind words. Much appreciate it. Thank you so much.


    reply to Anita,

    First of all, thank you so much for giving me some pov from a third person, much needed for this time. Thanks for making my words more easier to understand, even by myself. All things have been said by you it’s the truth. It’s just i couldn’t say it. You ask some questions regarding my story, gladly i will answer some of it.

    (1) For how many years has your father screamed, swore and hit his daughters?

    My parents are an asian parents. So their hits especially my father’s will be for our studies. That’s what i thinking so far but he have been hit my sisters all to not told my mother about this issue. One of my sister have been confront him during her early time but he hit her like others and convince that little child that it’s not him. They all didn’t know that others all were victim for him and just think that they solely only victim for this. So they remained silent as they were all just children. For the swore and screaming its started to happen after he cheated my mother with other women. From that day, almost all day will fight between us, or he will scream and swore at us if we didn’t do anything he ask us for.

    2.) Did he ever apologize and stopped these behaviors, if so, how long ago?

    He did apologize after he cheated my mother saying that he will not repeat the mistake again. It happen five years ago. From that day he have been point finger at my mother saying that she’s the one didn’t take care of him or give attention, that’s why i do that. Shameful to hear that reason. About this s.abuse, no words.

    3.) Is your father still living with you and with your sisters?

    Nope. After the confront day, my mother said that if he come back, she will told his mom and his other relatives. For him, his dignity and pride is most important thing to him. So he didn’t come back but he his actions didn’t stop there. He came with police and claim the motorcyle and car . One mistake we did, buy all property under his name.

    For the s.abuse questions, i prefer not to tell as i still can’t digested until now. But there are no degree level for his mistake whether its most or least terrible. He shouldn’t do that in the first place.

    Thanks again for all the words. Thank you so much. Thank you.





    Its no happpen 21 years ago. What i’m trying to say is now that im 21 years old, he’s been a perfect father that anyone could ask for the past 21 years in my life.

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