Dear Amy Love,

Read your situation like my own – I probably have a few female friends which I can talk about things (to a certain extent), had no problems hanging out with male friends.

Looking at your own personal situation – it looks like you’re doing well, save for the close female friendship part, and I do feel you.

Hi Mirabelle,

I am a Buddhist, and I also believe in the good of all other religions. Like others have stated, for the time being when you are living with your family, you would be practicing Islam. I think the questions you asked your parents about why you are of that religion, and why it is bad to change religions are hard questions (but they’re really good questions!) and rarely do people have answers for these types of questions.

You’re not doing anything wrong, you’re just trying to be you and finding your identity 🙂

Take care!

Hana

Just my two cents – it looks like a lovely quote, and I’ve read it with a pinch of salt. To me it’s somewhat telling me to be empathetic towards other people’s life stories and also if a person has treated us in an unpleasant manner, perhaps they are having a bad day and to be understanding about that. There are certain ‘stories’ I would be empathetic about – for eg a mother in poverty has to resort to stealing to feed her family but I wouldn’t accept it if someone committed a crime just for their own greed or because they thought they were ‘entitled’ to it.

I’ve worked with a narcissistic coworker before (also didn’t like it) but I just made sure contact with that person was as minimal as possible. Maybe trying to ‘love’ your coworker is forcing yourself a bit too much. Perhaps you could ‘like’ a particular aspect of your coworker unrelated to their character/work ethics eg they have a good fashion sense. I think we’re entitled to like/love the people that we want.

Hana

This post is stimulating a lot of interesting replies 🙂

Coming from an experience where I’ve had to deal with a lot of name calling behind my back, i.e. being arrogant because I don’t speak to people much (in the past, when all I really was doing was being quiet) I’ve just developed an ‘I don’t care attitude of what you think of me since I’m not born to please everyone, rather just please myself’. <– may sound a bit self-centered but I’d rather do my best to live a life true to being myself (that is currently a work in progress).

There’s a good reason for ’empty vessels make the most noise’ 😉

Hello Dude,

I have experienced similar things to what you are/have been feeling.

I’m introverted, single, doing locum work (i.e. no job stability yet) while still attempting to break into a more specialized field of my chosen profession.

And I have accepted that some people have to struggle more to achieve what they want (myself personally).

Since you love nature and animals you could try volunteering at a nature park/animal shelter as Missme has suggested. Sometimes a job could come from there. I’ve personally done voluntary work experience in the specialised field (people have told me I was stupid to work for free, but what I learnt gave me a bigger picture of my chosen work field) and as a result have been able to experience locuming in that field.

I trust your previous work experiences will make you develop attributes which will benefit you for the future. My previous work had been in retail for a few years, it made it easier for the introverted me to converse with other people.

With the current world we are living in, we do have to work for some financial stability – to me I see that financial stability as a way for me to provide for my future family, for my future retirement, for any sudden emergencies. (Slow progress, but still progress nonetheless.)

I started a gratitude journal 2 years ago to help me put things into perspective, and like many others before me, I agree that there are always things to be thankful for, however small. I also collect motivational quotes, and listen to motivational songs to boost up my motivation when I hit a slump. I also try find something to laugh at even though I face stressful times.

It’s okay that you feel completely lost, so do I, and I think most people will ask that question about what life means to them at some stage in their lives. Maybe it might be a good thing that you’re soul searching now in your 20s, instead of feeling lost when you’re in your 80s?

Anyway I hope my post hasn’t sounded offensive or anything like that, just my two cents.

Hana

Hello endlessskies,

There’s a quote you may have come across before – “Those who mind don’t matter, those who matter don’t mind”.

You are strong. Strong people also get hurt, and that’s okay.

Yes it hurts when people who don’t know who you really are (i.e. your personality) judge you by appearances. The thing about beauty is that it’s really subjective to different people.

I had recently experienced a situation where a few people acted as if I wasn’t a human being worth their time talking to (like what happened to common courtesy?). It hurt, and I thought about various things related to the situation :

In my gratitude journal: I was grateful I had friends and family who cheered me up when I told them about the situation.

In my personal journal: I wrote about how my self-worth took a hit when I was treated in that way when I didn’t do anything to offend said people.

Lessons learnt from the incident: I would never treat people in that manner, and I’d keep on smiling (even if my smiles have to be forced in certain situations). I feel that if a person brought value to my life, then I would reciprocate in kind – otherwise some people are better off being avoided due to their negativity.

(Well that example is a bit different to your situation, but I think you can relate to gratitude, expressing yourself personally and not bottling up, and reflecting on how you are going to act from then on.)

There will be people who like acting in a somewhat negative manner. It’s not you, it’s them.

Hope this post helps!

Hana

• This reply was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by Hana L.