Flinn, you articulated your struggle very well. I know this is an awful thing to say but it’s kind of comforting to know that someone else struggles with similar issues and I’m not crazy or abnormal. One of the crazy things I did to try to get past my “addiction” of communicating with the guy in my life was make a daily chart. I thought if I could go a week without trying to communicate with him, that everything would be much easier. There were certain times of the day when I was less busy and would always talk to him. I forced myself to keep myself occupied during those times and I would check off the hours that I had succeeded in not communicating with him. My friend saw the chart and made me tear it up. 🙂 She said.. that’s crazy and a week is not going to make your feelings for him just go away. She asked why I was punishing myself. I obviously wanted to talk to him so why was I punishing myself by not talking to him. He does want me in his life and he can’t imagine me not being there, it’s just that he can’t be with me now. (that part is too complicated to explain). My friend’s advise and the advise I’m trying at the moment is… I am still talking with him and enjoying his friendship (and yes i get jealous at EVERYTHING – it’s ridiculous and I know it) but at the same time, I am leaving myself open to running into the right person that I enjoy being with and can actually be with me too.