Dear Casey

I can rely very much to your issues. I used to be like this a lot of the time.

First and foremost: please do not rely on other people to bring you happiness. They can bring you more happiness, but not all the happiness and feeling content with your life, that has to come from within you.

You will soon start so realize that if you are content with yourself, you will be nicer to people around you, which will come back to you in positive ways. Try this: even when you’re having a hard day, try and be nice and friendly, open your heart up and be warm with people. They will notice (at least the right ones will) and you will soon have more fulfilling friendships.

I applaud you for seeing a counselor, maybe you could even consider seeing a therapist. There is nothing bad or crazy about that, it is a sign that you are aware of your depressed state and that you strive for a life with more light and happiness.

Be who you are, cause there is only one like you. Please realize this. Don’t rely on other people to give you confidence. If you exude confidence, people will see you in a very different light. Try and find a passion of yours, maybe something creative that makes you feel good and confident?

I am sure you will get better and you will find a girl that likes you and you like her back, without you relying on her for your happiness. Because people can feel that pressure of knowing they are the sole reason you are happy, and it’s a burden too heavy to carry for a longer period of time.

I wish you all the best, Casey. Be happy and thankful – for this life is so short and so beautiful, with all it’s pain, sadness and dark times. It’s worth it!

xx
Helen

Dear Amy

I think it’s very important that you choose to be with a person who makes you feel like you can be your “true self”. Someone who, when you spend time with them, don’t make you think “Oh, I’m acting so immature” or “Oh, I feel like he makes me want to be a better person”. Both statements seem as though you want to be someone for them who you are not.

Unfortunately, right now I feel like I’m in a relationship where my guy brings out bad sides of my personality – anxiousness, jealousy, insecurity. But I do aknowledge that these all have to do with me, as well. But you can choose if you want to be in a relationship with someone who brings these things out in you.

Maybe the way you explained it to all of us here was bound to be misunderstood. Be with the person who makes you feel best. That’s it.

All the best
Helen

Dear Laney

So, I’m only 23 and for sure not the wisest sister around here 😉

But I can tell from what you’re writing, that you’re very unhappy. You want out. Maybe take a vacation alone or stay at a friends house just to breathe – and really find out what you want.

Or maybe try couples counseling? But it seems you are already passed that stage…

It’s normal that you care about his feelings, you loved him once. But seriously, this relationship does not sound good – so maybe it’s best for him to be alone, too. I guess he also has a lot of wounds and problems to fix.

I wish you all the best, you’re gonna make the right decision.

Namaste
Helen

Dear Sky Garcia (What a pretty name! :))

I totally understand what you are saying, and where you are coming from. But it is exactly those thoughts, comparing yourself to others, that get you stuck.
The real question is: What do YOU want? What is going to make YOU happy?
No one else’s life or choice of how they live will make you happy. Only the life and the people in it, the career, the meaning that you need in your life, will make you happy. For some people, there will always be a sort of cloud hanging above you “Am I really doing the right thing? Is this going to make me happy?” But in a way, it’s good to ask yourself that. That means you are thriving for more. You want meaning, you want true happiness and you want to live your life to the fullest.

Look deeply inside yourself and your heart will tell you what you want and need. Feeling sorry for yourself – sorry I have to be harsh – will never help. It brings you down and gets you stuck. Rather try and think “Ok, what can I do to change this situation that I don’t like?” Instead of feeling sorry for yourself.

You are worth living a beautiful life! So do it :=

Namaste
Helen

Oh dear, I would be gutted as well. But look, you took care of it the best way you knew how. So don’t feel guilty. You did not kill it. Don’t drag yourself down, even though it must be very hard. Much strength to you!